7 Days in a Cafe ~ Day FOUR: Mac n' Cheese

This café drew me here out of curiosity. I wouldn’t want to write if I had to be here, so this is my chance just to come here for the café. I’ve been here before when I wasn’t thinking about writing or sitting. A sign hanging near a wall sized photo of a hot air balloon pointed to the coffee shop, along with a place called “Radiology.” The hot air balloon is meant to camouflage what the building really is. When I found the café, it had no chairs. People here don’t want to get coffee and sit and linger; they want to get it and take it back up to the chairs next to small people who look like their own childhood pictures and have nicknames only they use. At Children’s Hospital the café is just for coffee to go. 

But I did want to sit and linger, and I was even hungry for more than coffee, so I came to the cafe-teria, the place where they make jello to send upstairs. There aren’t many children here, but there are grown ups in scrubs decorated with kittens and hearts. No one seems to think that rainbow colored head coverings are out of place here. Someone I don’t see throws around God’s name like a menu item, and it seems really wrong to do so in a place like this. Of all places, God’s name shouldn’t be blurted out like stepping on a ketchup packet. It should be used with care and leaned on and injected into everything. A table full of colored scrub-wearers talks about car trouble, and the youngest diagnoses an alternator problem. The people here are used to listing symptoms and diagnosing sickness. Most of them.

A young couple wanders in through the tables of scrubs, carrying a small blond boy, and the mom is obviously carrying another baby inside. They put chicken nuggets and a big wedge of white cake in front of their toddler at the table beside me; it’s okay to give your toddler cake when you need to make life’s hard things a little easier. From out of his camouflage diaper bag they give him a bright green sippy cup, the color of a strong growing sprout that’s going to burst out with life. Maybe he’s not such a strong sprout. He sits on the table, and they let him. Sometimes sitting on the table in a café really doesn’t seem to matter. I wonder why they’re here and if they thought they would ever be here. No one wants to have to come to this café or get their coffee to go. We want to sit and linger.

The table of scrubs can’t resist talking to the blond table sitter. A much older boy takes a seat behind them, and I wonder if he has to wear an armband or if someone he loves wears one. A smiling scrub-wearer walks by the new boy’s table and asks the boy how he’s feeling. He must have the arm band. Kids who come to this café are different than others, but they’re the same too. He has French fries like any other boy in a baseball hat with glasses. That’s why the Daddy at the table next door is growling and laughing and tickling and making the little boy’s voice sound like a washer on agitate. 

I’m glad they sell more than coffee here. I have mac n’cheese, and so does the lady on the other side of me, up against the wall. She’s checking her phone and studying her mac n’cheese. I’ve often heard it called “comfort food,” and I hope she’s finding comfort in there, because she looks tired. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that God knows our pain and cares. I hope she’s reading that in a text.

No one wants to come to this café. When people get married or talk about their future or look for a pink stripe on a pregnancy test, no one wants to come here. But the café is quite full now, with people who had to come or people who would come for people who need to. The cashier comes to the table of the boy with ball cap and gives him bag of candy that’s tied with a ribbon, and he gets up and hugs her. Is it a bag of camouflage or comfort? Maybe it’s both.

Alongside the wall, behind the lady reading texts and studying mac n’cheese, there’s a row of trash cans that all say “Thank You” and face the room of people. The promise that “those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed” (Prov. 11:25b) is comforting, and everyone here probably needs comfort every now and then. No wonder they make mac n’cheese. 

The blond toddler family is finished; the group with car trouble is finished; the boy in the ball cap is finished; the lady reading texts is finished. They all put their trash where it says, “Thank you,” and they leave. New people take their places and study their lunches. I hope they have mac n’ cheese. 

• Cafe Challenge: Where are you going this weekend? Would you be willing to ask God to show you someone who needs to be comforted with a smile, a kind word, or a prayer? 

Marriage Mondays: Bearing Your Cross

Somewhere between being sixteen and the first year of having a "real job," most women in my country are faced with the fact that life is a lot of work. We realize that life is not at all like Pride and Prejudice. How we come to terms with that reality goes a long way in deciding what life will be like. Will we smile at the future and face our days with hope? Or will we growl at each new challenge and grow old with a furrowed brow? Life is work, and it's part of the cross we bear if we are women who follow Christ.

For some wives, marriage is a cross they bear. How we come to terms with the work marriage takes goes a long way in deciding what our life will be like.

If you look at the Christmas story as all of Jesus' life, you'll find a cross bearer, and it wasn't Jesus. Like a lot of us, Simon of Cyrene was minding his own business and probably excited about his prospects, as he was "coming in from the country" into the big city of Jerusalem at the time of the Passover and Sabbath. He wasn't expecting to have to carry a cross.

As Immanuel, God with us, was led away through the streets, the soldiers seized Simon and  "placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus" (The whole story is here from Luke 23:26-32). Suddenly carrying the heavy load of a cross, the symbol of judgment, country Simon found himself thrust in line with the bruised Jesus, 2 criminals, and a riotous crowd of angry people pressing in at him. Did he feel like it was unfair? A shock? No one told him a trip to the big city might include this.

None of us enters marriage or making a home expecting to be seized by life's hardest circumstances and made to carry a cross. It seems unfair, a shock ... no one tells you that a trip through marriage might include this. But Simon wasn't carrying his own cross; he was carrying Jesus' cross. Our Immanuel, who became flesh to be the Savior of the world, asks us to do the same.  Carry HIS cross, daily, even in marriage and home making. 

"... The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed and be raised up on the third day.” And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it." (Luke 9:22-24)

Are you dragging around your own cross, or are you carrying His?  By now we all know that we aren't starring in a modern version of Pride and Prejudice, and we're making the decision of whether or not we'll deny ourselves TODAY and take up HIS cross and follow HIM. It's the way to save our marriages and our homes and our selves. 

Let's make room for Jesus this Christmas by setting aside our own hang ups that we're so used to  dragging around. That means we don't just keep talking and whining about our problems, never seeking the help, wisdom, and control of the Son of Man. It means we see our work as a way to serve Jesus and give glory to Him. If we get rid of the cross we heave up on ourselves each day, we'll have room for His. 

Can you let go of your "wee"?

He may not be your traditional "Christmas story" character, but he moved something we all relate to so he could make room for Jesus. Zacchaeus left his insecurity on the ground when he climbed up to see Jesus.

visualbiblealive.com

We all have insecurities. And if Zacchaeus wasn't insecure before that fateful day in the Sycamore tree, he would be after discovering that centuries of people have been singing that "a wee little man was he"!!! Despite his wealth, acquired at the expense of others, this "small of stature" man would've spent a lifetime hearing the jests of taller boys and then men who got a laugh from their peers, using Zacheus as an expendable target. He must've been tired of it, and despite his attempts to take it well, it must've worn on him inside. Can you relate?


And if the years of mocking weren't enough, the fact that he was smart invited more disdain, magnified by getting the position of chief tax collector. It would've been one place Zacchaeus got to be the powerful one, and he probably couldn't help making the most of it in the midst of the tall jesters ... thus, he gathered his wealth. Mocked and despised, the last thing he would've wanted to do would be to climb up high where a whole crowd to take a shot at him. But Jesus ...

Jesus was passing by, and the loner tax collector wanted to see who He was; money couldn't buy a ticket for that front row seat. The wee little man set aside his insecurities so he could see Jesus, and he did. In fact, Jesus paused under his perch to speak to him ... not mocking, and the Teacher ended up at Zacchaeus' house. But you know that if you've sung the song about the wee little man.

Zacchaeus had his heart changed that day as he embraced the true Messiah and Jesus embraced the man's faith. "Today salvation has come to this house," (Lk. 19-10) Jesus said. He may've been small of statue, but he was big of faith, and that's what mattered to Jesus.  That's why He came.

What keeps you from getting where you need to be to see Jesus? Old messages spoken by a relative? Suggestions from a high school classmate? An unaccepting glance from a co-worker? The whispering of the Enemy who knows where you feel "wee"?  If we're to make room for Jesus in our hearts and lives, we have to leave our insecurities behind, daily, over and over, and confidently climb to where we need to be to see Jesus.  Then, when we see who He is .... invite Him in. 

• What insecurities are keeping you from getting to Jesus this Christmas? 
• Will you leave them on the ground?
• Are you worried about what others will say, or are you just wanting to know what Jesus says?

Blind man, bold faith

Yesterday I found myself looking at a big problem and unable to see the solution. In fact, the whole picture looked rather bleak. I saw no solution, and I felt tempted to cover my head with my comforter and have a good cry ... but the dog wouldn't get off the blanket. :)

Timaeus' son Bartimaeus faced an obstacle he couldn't see through either; he was literally physically blind. To meet his needs, he positioned himself near Jericho, on the road pilgrims took to Jerusalem. Sitting there, he was likely to receive pity from those feeling waves of generosity, but their alms couldn't heal his blindness.

While at his station one day, he heard the sound of a crowd passing by and was alert to the possibilities. He hadn't crawled under a blanket in self pity; he was waiting expectantly ... for more than a few coins. When he heard that Jesus of Nazareth was the reason for the ruckus, he boldly cried out for mercy from "Jesus, Son of David." Bartimaeus may've been in the dark visually, but his heart clearly recognized the Messiah. 

Like people on the front row usually do, they tried to silence the rowdy guy in the back, but Bartimaeus cried out "all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!'" (Lk 18:39). 

Jesus stopped to see the blind man and asked what he wanted. Bartimaeus didn't wasted his chance asking for alms. He asked the Messiah to restore his sight, and Jesus healed him. Like others who set aside pride or influence or expectations or insecurities, the reason for the Blind Man's healing was an issue of the heart: "Your faith has made you well" (Lk. 18:42). 

We could understand if Bartimaeus sat in the dirt and cried or covered himself up hopelessly, but to make room for Jesus, he got rid of self pity and reached out with bold faith. 

When the Son of David said the sightless man was made well, He was really saying the man's faith saved him physically and spiritually. It's not surprising, then, that the newly sighted man's response was to follow Jesus and glorify God, evidence of a disciple's heart. Near Jericho that day, the Jerusalem bound crowd saw and heard what happened to the blind man with the bold faith, and "all the people, when they saw it, gave praise to God" (Lk. 18:43).

Sometimes we can't see an answer to life's problems. There are circumstances that leave us feeling blind, tempting us to just sit down in the dirt and feel sorry for ourselves ...  even at Christmas time. There won't be room for Jesus, if we just sit on our trouble, even while the Savior is within faith's reach.

I let the dog stay on the blanket yesterday. I did not cover up or have a good cry ... this time. ;)

If a blind man can make room for Jesus by pushing out a legitimate moment of self pity & replacing it with bold faith, so can I!  You?

Are you desperate enough?

To be desperate means you feel urgency with little to no hope. When was the last time you felt desperate? 

visualbiblealive.com

When God's only Son Jesus came down from the mountain with Peter, James and John, "a great crowd met him," (Lk. 9:37), but in the mass of people a desperate man found a way to be heard and "cried out, 'Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child'" (v. 38). Desperation pushed past the crowd right to Jesus. 


The man's only son was being constantly plagued by a demon, causing the boy to be gripped with convulsing, screaming, and foaming at that mouth. The desperate dad said of his son that the demon "shatters him, and will hardly leave him" (v.39).  The father knew the cause of the pain, and he could see the impact, but he was powerless to change it. Life often includes struggles we feel, with causes we know, but are powerless to change. 


Before he became desperate enough to cry out to Jesus, the man had appealed to the disciples, and they failed to heal the boy. It's in our nature to turn to our earthly options to try and solve our problems, but when we get desperate enough, we cry out to Jesus.

The suffering son was brought to Jesus who, "healed the boy, and gave him back to his father" (v.42). The watching crowd couldn't help but be amazed "at the majesty of God" (v.43). 

Christmas time is notorious for stirring up suffering, disappointment, and even depression, hidden behind tinsel and living Christmas trees and martini glasses. Norman Rockwell and Hallmark Channel and songs about coming home for Christmas distract us, but the window panes of real life are not only frosted; they're dirty.

As our disappointments take hold, may we make room in the crowd of "holiday stuff" to cry out to Jesus for healing and help and hope.  Making room for Jesus reveals the majesty of God!

~ Are you desperate enough to make room to cry out to Jesus? (Luke 9:37-43)

Is Faith being in denial?

JoHanna's cross country season ended Saturday. Sunday was a blue sky sunshine day, so and Jeff went for a father/daughter trail run (no worries about me butting in ;) in the mountains. She came home with in injured ankle. After a visit to the sports clinic Monday night came home with a "boot," instructions to stay off of it for weeks, and a long face. With a chip in her ankle bone, the boot will give her the support she needs in her weakness.

People who don't believe in God often say that faith is a crutch. I don't agree; I think it's a boot.

Except for showering or sleeping, the boot will stay on all the time. I need for my faith to stay on all the time, INCLUDING the shower and the bed. Crises in life inflame our weakness, causing it to swell so we can't ignore it, making us so aware of our need for support, shouting out our need to strengthen the area under attack. I've been facing attack this week in the form of my re-occurring voice issue, "sprained" and swollen after an illness. My visit to my doctor wasn't encouraging yesterday, and I left with a heavy heart and lots of questions for the Lord. I need to wear the boot of faith.

Hebrews 11:1     "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." (NLT)   My thoughts:  That's being sure of our hope in things like healing eternally, God's presence in the pain, the voice of our Mediator Jesus, provision of what we need, and God's strength. That's putting my certainty in things I cannot see, but believe in because of Who God is.

Some may wonder (I know this, because I've been in the "some" this week ...) if having faith is just being in denial. Yes, I think it is. Denial that we wrestle only against flesh and blood (even our own), denial that Satan is destined to have victory over us, denial that God is somehow tired of really caring about our hurts, denial that maybe our future is the one without good intentions, and denial that He won't answer or act at all. In that case, I want to be in denial, and I want you to be too!

Faith is denying the power of darkness and believing in the power of God. 

Ephesians 2:8
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."

God has already worked in my life through faith, though it may've started out feeling small. I am "O you of little faith," and it shows when I chip an ankle in life. He wants my faith to grow, and that means allowing me to experience events that put me in a boot. 

Luke 12:27-29    "Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried."

... nor be worried. 

So for today, I am resting my voice and praying in denial and in faith that the Lord will give me a window of vocal strength at the right times to share with the MOPS of CBB and then with the ladies of FBLC, with sweet times of listening to my family and using my few words wisely with my family in between. I would love for you to pray with me, because when you're "in the boot" it's awkward to "get around," and you appreciate the help. 


Are you in a boot of faith right now? In denial? I hope so. I would love to pray for you, too. Feel free to send me an email or leave a comment. Praying for OTHERS is so good when you're aware of your pain. Let me leave "us" with one of my favorite promises for those of us in the boot: 

Philippians 4:6-8
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Covenant #7 - Into heaven itself

I've wondered if readers ever catch the word "Covenant" in a blog title and hit "delete" because it seems to "Old Testament-ish" and "theological." I know you don't have time to waste, and I know you're probably like me in that you want to know what difference something makes to your life. That's not a bad thing.

This week's study focused on Hebrews 7-10 and how Jesus has acted as our high priest in the New Covenant that is better than the Old one, enacted in heavenly places instead of earthly ones, and done once for all instead of needing to be done over and over. It's heavy in "what difference does it make," but let me tell you one difference it's making to me ... today.


This past week has been a quiet one for me. My old voice ghost has haunted me, and I've been wrestling with the Lord over it. Doesn't He know how hard this is? Doesn't He understand how frustrating this is? Can't He relate to being weak and wanting to break free of its confines? You don't have to have a voice to whine.


I know from Hebrews 4 that my "high priest" DOES sympathize with my human feelings, because as part of the Covenant relationship we share, He became what I am ... flesh. Before I took on His identity, He took on mine. He agreed to make my hardships His own, while I was glad to make His glories mine. Our adversity? My voice struggle? He gets it.


But is He doing anything about it? When we're crying out (me silently, you aloud) or waiting for His provision, is He acting? God may be silent, but He is not still.


Our high priest, unlike earthly ones who enter rooms made by men and keep going back over and over, acted on my behalf and then sat down. He didn't sit down as if no longer involved, but because He finished making the one-time sacrifice; then He sat down with the right to represent us before His Father.

"For Christ did not enter a holy place made with hands, a mere copy of the true one, but into heaven itself, not to appear in the presence of God for us ..." Heb. 9:24. 

This week Jeff talked to my mom (& dr & kids & friends) on my behalf. Ministry partner & friend Karen called about event details for me. Friend Tara called the doctor for me. The kids answered the phone for me. Sometimes I need someone to "be the voice" for me. We ALL need someone to "be the voice" in heaven for us, and our Great High Priest is doing that.


He made a one-time sacrifice that brought us into a relationship with Him, then He sat down beside His Father in heaven, and He's appearing there for us now.


Maybe it IS theological with ancient roots, but it gives me peace for where I am today.  Just think ... Jesus entered heaven itself as our priest, offered Himself as the sacrifice, and is there right now FOR US.  That should leave us all speechless.

Let's take a minute to stop and say thank you for that kind of relationship - a Covenant relationship!

Marriage Mondays: Connie's Story

It's been a privilege to share the stories of some of my friends during October's Marriage Mondays. Antoinette started us off and has been so sweet to provide a giveaway set of jewelry each week. This week's set is perfect for the end of October. Find out at the end of today's story how to enter to win.


Today's story is a story of survival, but it's a story of surviving the heartache of disappointment, of a friend who gave her heart to a man, but never married. Connie came into my life earlier this summer, and her simple words of wisdom, deep faith in God, and spirit of encouragement have blessed me over and over. One day as I was taking Connie on an errand after she had a stay in the hospital, we talked about our life journeys, and she shared with me her "Almost-Married Survival Story." I benefit today, along with others, because of how she survived the grief that sometimes comes with falling in love.

Connie was in her early twenties and living in a rural area when she fell in love with a young man named James. In the miraculous way that oneness happens, the two decided to get married and spend the rest of their lives together. With very little money between them, James told Connie she needed to be patient and wait while he earned a "nest egg" for their life together. I'm not surprised that my sweet friend was content to be patient, trusting that they had many years ahead.

It was on an afternoon that was probably a lot like today, sunny with blue skies, that her sweetheart James and a friend decided to go for a motorcycle ride together. Connie stayed behind to prepare supper, and James told her he would be back in a little while. When time passed and the day grew longer, state troopers arrived at the house and approached the door. With supper ready, Connie couldn't imagine why they were at her house.


They delivered news she never dreamed of; James was involved in an accident and killed. He was never coming home for supper, and she was never going to marry the man she gave her heart to and waited for. She was heart broken. 


It's been about 40 years since the troopers arrived at the house with the awful news, and yet it was obvious that the memory and emotion are still fresh. When I asked how she managed to recover and go on, she said, "After James passed away I just decided I needed to take my love and give it to anyone or any little creature who needed tenderness and care in this ol' world, and that's what I've done."


And she has. A visit to her home includes meeting the dog she took in and the cat that her dog took in. ;)  Most of all, I've had the joy and "lesson" of watching Connie gently and tenderly reach out to hurting women at the Serenity Women's Shelter where we minister together. She finds the one who is fragile and needy and gently, tenderly, patiently extends her love and Christ's love. When sharing about a chance to pray with and for a broken young woman recently, Connie said, "She reminded me of a child that was starving .. it was for the faith and love of God." 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." ~ 2 Cor. 1:3-5

She waited with anticipation for the oneness and joy of marriage, but it was all lost in a moment. Instead of staying in her place of greatest grief, Connie was inspired to use her deep well of love and compassion to care for those in need. She's an inspiration and a challenge to me.


Has your marriage or your singleness brought disappointment or deep grief? How have you/are you surviving it and responding to expose God's glory out of it?

To enter to win today's giveaway, share a disappointment you've experienced in your life's journey, large or small, and how God has used it for good. 

Go ahead ... permission to complain

It's been weeks since I first noticed a lingering "roar" in my right ear, left over after summer sickness. I've endured the distraction and inconvenience, and I've lost sleep laying awake to the sound of what reminds me of vacuuming ... If I could just make it to my doctor's appt with the ENT, I knew he would do something quick and painless and make it all the left over fluid go away.


He didn't make it go away. He broke the news that there isn't any left over fluid, but there's hearing loss in my ear and signs of a condition that is attacking my hearing. I left the office with an appt for an MRI, strict restrictions on my salt intake (Goodbye, french fries! I love you...), and prescriptions for things with ugly side effects. My happy expectation faded into surprise and discouragement, which bubbled over into tears after I handed the pharmacist the order. I sat down on a bench outside of Target, only to realize it was covered with rain ...  soaking the entire backside of my jeans.  (I think Satan added that part ...)

I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."
Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!    ~ Psalm 142: 5,6

I was feeling like I was "brought very low" by what is attacking me physically. Other things attack us emotionally, spiritually, even mentally. Psalm 142 tells us we can be "brought very low" when we're out of energy, confused, attacked, or just so alone. It also tells us God knows our way ... even the low way.

What do we do when we feel "brought low?" (vv. 1-2) Aside from sitting on a wet bench, you do what I did:

• cry out to our Refuge
• plead for mercy
• pour out your complaint
• tell Him your trouble

And what does He do when we come to Him with tears and fears and questions and ... okay, a little bit of an attitude? He "attends to" our cries, and we give thanks in return. Our right attitude will benefit the other children of God around us.  Oh, help me, Lord, to have a good attitude, so it's a benefit and not a burden to others! 

• Have you been surprised by a hardship?  He knows your way.
• Have you been brought low by an attack?  He is your portion.

You have permission to complain to your Refuge, sweet friend. Go ahead. He's listening, and there's room on the bench.

Combustible or Clinging?

Are you watching pictures of the wildfires in Texas? One government website warned, "high winds and dry conditions can set the stage for potentially severe fires, putting lives and property at risk." The region is experiencing extreme drought, making dry structures nearly combustible.


Have you ever felt so dry spiritually that you were nearly combustible? Living through a time of trial, under pressure from other people, circumstances may be ripe for a wildfire to tear through your life and leave charred remains. David was in the desert wilderness, being pursued by a one-time trusted person (Saul or David's own son Absalom) when he admitted to knowing what it feels like to be close to combustible.

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I see you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water" (Psalm 63:1). 

Texans and those who have come to their aid are fighting their parched problems with all they have to throw at it from the ground and from the air. David didn't just take the heat either; he threw the power of God back at it.

Because he knew God's steadfast love is "better than life:"

• he sought to know God ... in the midst of his drought
• he worshiped God for who He is ... not deterred by his problems
• he thought about God in dark desert moments  ... in bed, alone
• he meditated on God's truth in times of temptation ... in the "watches of the night"

We need to cling to something. If you feel like you're "clinging" by a thread to the life God wants for you, follow David's example in the parched land:  "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me" (v.8). 


Like David, you'll find living water for your parched throat ... so you can praise God. You'll find a shady place of shelter ... under the shadow of God's "wings." When we're under attack, we can focus on God's steadfast love instead of the heat of life. Don't give in and combust, friend! Before we get to a dangerous place, let's let God satisfy our dry souls. 

Why combust when we can cling?

Take a step to satisfy your thirst today: 

• Take time to read Psalm 63 aloud.
• Make a list of the words David used to describe God in Psalm 63.
• Listen to praise music that will speak to your spirit.
• Carry a water bottle ... as a reminder that the answer to your thirst is right at hand.

Talking to yourself again?

I've decided to embrace talking to myself. The kids make fun of me for talking to the dog ;) but I've got the authority of scripture to back me up when it comes to talking to myself!

Worship with believers in Romania

The priestly Sons of Korah penned the words of Psalm 42; the writer feels discouraged and oppressed. Can you relate? Their problem is that their oppressors (troublemakers, difficult people ... you know the kind) have kept them from going to the sanctuary in Jerusalem to worship. They are north of the Sea of Galilee, far from the temple. Though they know they can worship anywhere, there's something unique about gathering with the followers of God and worshiping corporately in His house? While individual worship is sweet, I hope you've experienced group worship.


Attendance at the "sanctuary" is a privilege, a joy and a help, not a burden. Things like sleep, sports, the lake, sleep, tv, holidays, sleep .... can tempt us to ignore gathering with God's people to worship Him as a group. We easily fall into the trap of "one week won't hurt," or "I can just worship on my own," and a habit turns into a lifestyle. Group worship extends to every culture; no one is excluded from God's desire for us to know and respond to Him in this way. God plans for us to enjoy Him through corporate worship. Do you look forward to it?


Unable to worship with others in God's house, kept at a distance, the writer is "downcast." In other words, just a few weeks out of fellowship with a church body, and your spirit begins to show neglect. Have you experienced that? God is with us individually and wants us to know Him:

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. ~ Ps. 42:8

But God intends for us to gather in worship. We know how ignoring church body life can leave us feeling like God has forgotten us, with hopelessness creeping in. Psalm 43 really goes WITH the 42nd and gives the answer for when we feel "disconnected" from the church:  

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! ~ Ps. 43:3

God's truth is our means of rescue and encouragement. The answer to discouragement that comes from distance from God is to walk His way and worship Him.

Twice in Psalm 42 and again in Psalm 43, the writer "talks to himself." I think I like the Sons of Korah!

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Ps. 42:5,11, and 43:5

So go ahead ... talk to yourself! It's biblical. :) And if we're speaking the truth, it will lead us and bring us right to God's house in anticipation of sweet worship.

How do you plan to worship this week?

Run to win. Endure to the end.

This morning my friend Jeri and I have the pleasure of doing chapel for our friends at Serenity Women's Shelter. We'll be talking about God wants us to run this race of faith to win and to endure the course to the end. The ladies we'll share with know what it means to struggle on life's path.

Last Friday night I went to watch Jeff run a 7 mile trail race through the mountains. In a race like that, you only see the runners at the beginning and at the finish. It was pea soup humid and hot as the 60+ runners gathered at the start and took off. (Here is where I have to admit that we got in the car, drove to town, and ate Chick-fil-A in the air conditioning. :) I took a large Diet Dr. Pepper back with me to sweat and wait for the finish!)

Supporters gathered at the finish line to wait for the runners coming in. Finally, someone shouted that they saw the first athlete. More followed in a stead trickle, every one running at a different pace and with a different story to tell. Almost all groaned about the final, steep ascent. Some were gasping, while others collapsed in the grass. Some were dirt covered, telling stories of their falls and triumphs to get back in the race. Several were bleeding and injured from trials on the trail. Some lagged behind, but they still came.

And on the sidelines ... we all cheered and clapped and whistled. Witnesses to the pain and the perseverance of the runners, we all shouted and stood in support of their race. 

What do you say when someone is gasping for breath, gutting it out through every painful step, straining to see the finish line, ready to give up? 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith ..." (Heb. 12:1).

That cloud of witnesses is made up of the Old Testament heroes of the "faith chapter" in Hebrews 11. Their faithfulness stands as a witness to us as we run our race. When every step is agony and we "feel the burn," when we fall repeatedly and try to get up, when we look at the next "steep ascent" and think we can't do it ... God wants us to remember that we're in it to win it (1 Cor. 9:24-25), and He calls us to endure the trail.

• If you read this in the morning... please pray for us to communicate these truths clearly to our friends at Serenity. We are cheering them on in their race! 
• And if you read it after 11ish (EST) pray that the truths will linger in the hearts and minds of the ladies, to encourage them when the road looks long and they're tired. Pray that they persevere.

Is your race looking long and hard today? Have you fallen down?  Do you see a steep ascent before you? Don't give up, sweet friend. We're in it to win it, and the witnesses of our faith are cheering us on!

I want to "give" you this video. It's not a cross country race; it's a sprint, but God calls us to display the perseverance of a runner like this. Watch the first 2 minutes. (If you receive this by email, click on the post title to see the actual page with the video. I don't want you to miss it!)





Join me this weekend for the 2nd of our S.O.S. - Somalia on Saturdays project to make a difference in Jesus' name.

Insomnia, Dust, Old Clothes and Zumba

Have you ever done Zumba? This girl has no dancing aptitude, so when friends talk about going to Zumba, I fade into the shadows. Psalm writer David had his moment of public praise dancing, and not everyone received it well. His heart wasn't always full of praise.That's how he knows how to hit us right where we're livin' life, right in between insomnia, dust, old clothes, and Zumba. Find it in Psalm 30.


David really wanted to be the one to build God's temple, but God only let him prepare for it; David's son Solomon was tasked as the builder. Before David died, he penned Psalm 30 to be sung after his death, at the dedication of the temple. It's a song describing David's personal ups n' downs, challenging worshipers to follow him in praise. To do that, David gets raw and real with us.

God takes our pride and our problems and deals with our insomnia, dust, and worn out clothes, giving us ZUMBA instead!

David had cried to God for help after laying awake at night crying (v.5). He said, "Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning." If you've ever gone to bed weeping and crying out to God in prayer, you know the joy that can come with the morning.Only God can give that joy.


David struggled with his pride (v.6) but learned God was the source of all of his strength (v.7). God rebuked him for his arrogance (v.7), and David did what a person with a heart for God does ... he repented (v.8). He knew he lived in his changed state in order to praise God.



The dust of death and earth won't praise God, but the man who has experienced God will! (v.9) Though we may find ourselves for a time in the "sackcloth" (v.11) of grief, we aren't meant to stay there.

• Do you hear yourself complaining often? 
• Are you marked by negativity? 
• Would people say you're a "downer?" 

God isn't a God who leaves us weeping, in the dust, and dressed in the worn out clothing of mourning. David testifies here that God "loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness" (v.11). A pity party is not a place to stay.


Because of who God is and what He does, we can give thanks to Him "forever" (v.12). We're meant to get over the insomnia, dust, and sackcloth of mourning and let Him change our "mourning into dancing" (v.11). We have to praise Him and not be silent!

• Just like David, our past is filled with God's deliverance and favor.
• Just like David when he penned Psalm 30, our present is meant to be full of joy, never ceasing to plead for God's mercy (v.8).
• Just like David ... we're meant to outdo the dust and PRAISE HIM!

Do you need to get over your insomnia, shake off the dust, clothe yourself with gladness and praise Him? In case you need a visual, this is ZUMBA ... praise style. ;)
(You might want to turn up your computer and stand up ... and don't be surprised if someone else joins you from the shadows!) ....
(If you receive this via email, be sure to click on the post title to go the actual blog and see this video.)

You don't get it either

David admitted he didn't get it, and I know I don't get it.    You don't "get it" either."   It" is how God can so intimately know all about us, everywhere, every place, every time. In Psalm 139 David said, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is high; I cannot attain it." In other words, he couldn't grasp how God could know him so completely.


I got the message early one morning this week, and my garbage thoughts were immediately churned up,  troubled, frustrated and conflicted. My mouth wanted to spew out my feelings, but the words of Psalm 139 reigned me in. God has intimate knowledge of me; He searches me out and "knows" me. That means He is intimately acquainted with everything about me, all my ways (vv.1-3). Even from what seems like a distance, He knows me. Nothing is hidden. Even if I try not to speak my garbage thoughts, He knows even before I start to spew what really fills my heart, "Even before a word is on my tongue" (v.4).


Should we try to hide? It can't be done. David asked the same thing, "Where can I go from your Spirit?" (v.7) We can't run away or be in a place out of His full awareness. Not heaven, not hell, not as far as east is from west, not in the darkest place. Even in the suffering place. Everywhere ... He leads and holds those who are His (v.10). 

This truth has been such a comfort to me. 


This week we talked about suffering as described in Psalm 39, and I showed you my illustration of it from my devotional notebook. The Psalm made us ask, "What now?" If you know you're suffering, and it may even be your own doing, what now? From the same writer who had lived on the run, experienced his own agony, and hidden out, the words of Psalm 139 make it clear we can't escape God's full "knowing" of us and all we think and feel.

Why can't I escape Him?

• He is my maker. vv. 13-16 ... Even in the dark isolation of the womb, He knew me.
• All of my days are in His book. vv. 16 ... He knows every event, good and bad.
• He thunders out the pronouncement that I am wonderfully made. v. 14
• His thoughts toward me are VAST; He thinks of me ... a lot. vv. 17-18
• He has the authority to restrain evil. vv. 19-20
• Not everyone is glad God knows all about us; He has enemies. vv. 19-22

Though He knows me in my ugly state of garbage thinking and suffering, He still wants to search me and know me. He wants me to invite Him to keep searching and keep knowing:

• my heart
• my thoughts
• my wicked ways

In the midst of my suffering, despite my instinct to hide myself from the God who sees and knows all, He wants me to invite His leadership in my life. He wants me to rise up out of my own garbage and the garbage around me and be led "in the way everlasting!" That's His way. That's back to the godly way of Psalm 1. The way everlasting is the way He unfolds in His book, the Bible.

• Are you crying out to the God, asking Him to search you, know you, and lead you?
• Are you spending time in His Word, so you'll know His ways?

Life is filled with suffering, but out of it we can cry like David: "Search me! Know my heart! See if there's garbage in me! Lead me in YOUR ways, not mine."

What Psalm 39 looks like

A friend wrote to me about my post on Psalm 39. She said: "I'm so glad you wrote this blog, but what now?" Good question, and I won't leave you hanging, because God doesn't leave us hanging.


On a flight to Paraguay this summer, somewhere over the Amazon jungle, the pilot's voice came out of the night's darkness and made a loud announcement. Flight attendants moved quickly up the aisle. People tightened seat belts. I waited for the English translation. It never came. I wanted to scream, "Wait! I don't speak Portuguese!  What did he say? Don't you want me to know!?!?!!?" 


Apparently, the pilot only wanted the Brazilians to know, ;) but God wants us ALL to know the answer to "What now?" When we realize we're suffering and we need to cry out, He wants us to know what to do. He offers us answers, and He wants us to understand ... in every language, every circumstance, every season, every agony. He wants us to know.


I am digesting a Psalm that I think gives us the answer to "What now?"  It's Psalm 139, and I will share about it soon, but you can read ahead. God might just whisper to you in His own Spirit's still, small voice what it means without me ever racing down the blog aisle with the translation. :) I'll be studying and considering, and you do the same. He gives us answers.

For today, I want to share a visual with you of what Psalm 39 brought to my mind. It's out of my own devotional journal, and it's an illustration of how I think Psalm 39 applies for us today.  If it connects with you, please feel free to pass it on. The worse the news in our lives and in the world around us, the more it points us to God.

Who Learns in VBS?

Isn't Vacation Bible School supposed to be for kids to learn about God? When I was preparing to teach 5 yr olds with JoHanna this week, that's what I was thinking and praying toward. Little did I know ...

Last night's big idea in the lesson was:  I can trust Jesus because He loves me. 

We used Psalm 56:3 to teach "When I am afraid I will trust in You."  I'm not "afraid," but I'm spending VBS week home sick. I've missed the first 2 nights, and Jeff has "helped" me come to the place where I realize I need to stay home the rest of the week. I HATE having to bail out on a commitment. I was planning to teach with our 16 yr old JoHanna, so she's had the chance to be stretched and to grow in serving. A sweet friend stepped up to help fill in some of the gaps I've left. It seems like the grown ups are learning as much as the kids are learning this week of VBS!

My version of Psalm 56:3:   When I am ... frustrated, disappointed, confused, weak, sick .... I will trust in You. Yes, I really can trust Jesus because He loves me. It works for kids, and it works for grown ups.

I've been meditating on Romans 5 in the last month; verses 3 and 4 are timely truths for me today.

I've learned it in the English Standard Version: 
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.

In the NIV Reader's Version it says:
And that's not all. We are full of joy even when we suffer. We know that our suffering gives us the strength to go on. The strength to go on produces character. Character produces hope. 

5 Ways I will rejoice today:

1. God is stretching my daughter in her own ministry skills, and she's rejoicing.
2. God provided sisters in my local church to carry my load when I couldn't.
3. My husband is strong enough to make me care for my needs ...and I'm trying to cooperate.
4. I'm so thankful I have access to medicine and the freedom/permission to rest.
5. God shows me new things when He imposes extra quiet time on me. Thank You, Lord.

Are you facing a challenge?  Frustrated, disappointed, confused, weak, sick? The VBS lesson works for kids and grown ups. We can trust in Jesus, because He loves us. How are you rejoicing?

Battling myself

It's easy to make a decision to do something, but following through is the challenge. God knows this about us. He made us and has intimate understanding of our frailties.


When it comes to caring for my physical body in a way that honors God, I think I can relate to the words of the Apostle Paul:

From the Message version of Romans 7:14-20

"What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."  (emphasis mine)

Can you relate to Paul?  He sounds like a woman who just had an encounter with an eclair and a Grande latte (extra whip)!

Thankfully, when the Spirit of God lives within us, we have His strength to depend on in helping us walk in strength. I can ask Him to overcome my flesh and control my desires and my weaknesses and make me strong, instead. I can ask HIM to help me to be Fit 4Faith and know He'll listen and help.  And He'll bless me as I obey.


Dear Lord, 
I really do want to let You be the Master of my physical body. I want to honor You with it in the way I live and care for myself. I want my body to be ready to serve You when You give me opportunities. I am so weak and sometimes find myself yielding to things like TV or bags of cookies or vanity, instead of You. Please be the Master of my heart and my body. You made me and know me best, so help me to honor You with the frame you've given to me. Even so, I look forward to that glorified body I'll enjoy someday!
Dependent on you ~ 

Tommy helped us get Fit 4Faith

Every day last week our departures and arrivals home were accompanied by a grinding, scraping noise, punctuated by a loud bang. Garage door. When the kids asked, "Shouldn't we do something about that?" I replied, "It's not the priority right now. It has to wait. We'll keep using it. It will probably break next week, and then we'll do something about it." (Disclaimer: This is not a good example of modeling problem solving as a parent - yet. )

Ignoring the obvious strain and symptoms did not fix the problem.

Monday was the final day our Eastern European guests were with us. As I pressed the garage door opener to begin the day, including an airport run, our problem became our priority. Bad timing. But problems have a way of doing that when they keep getting pushed aside. Sooner or later, it becomes the priority.


Tommy was the garage door version of a swat team. With my husband sick in bed, I went into "I can solve it" mode and called a repairman.  After he inspected and diagnosed the problem, I learned so much:

• Ever garage door is a different size; ours happens to be an extra wide, extra heavy, solid wood version. It's a lot to lift.
• The door looked good on the outside, but that didn't tell the whole tale.  The neighbors didn't know.
• Our motor isn't ideal for lifting the weight, but if everything else is as it should be, it can handle it.
• Because of the strain on the whole frame, other damage was being caused:  bearings were worn, rollers were destroyed, the track was cut, and the trolley was stripped out.
• Two years ago when we had the springs replaced, the repair team had only patched the problem, not fixed it. That actually made for a bigger problem.
• The amount of use our door gets is considered heavier than normal, so the life is shortened if we don't compensate with better care.
• What we needed was a total inspection of the system, so we could identify the weaknesses, do the complete maintenance, and overcome the real problem.  
• The ultimate breakdown of our down made it hard for us to do what God called us to do during our  missions conference. The door wasn't functioning well at an important time.
• No one else could fix our door but us. 

Because of the issues, the solid door was actually beginning to break. Not only that, but the cable that lifts the door was under so much strain, it was badly frayed, in danger of snapping and dropping the 500 lb door at any moment. The cost of ignoring the problem could've been deadly. Once the repairs were made, Tommy said he thinks our door should have a long life ahead of it.


The Lord has been getting my attention with some "scraping sounds" from my own life. My time and energy are heavily used, but I'm not doing such a great job of doing maintenance and taking care of my hardware. Those who know me might say I don't look unhealthy or like I have a significant weight problem, but appearance just isn't always an accurate way to determine health. I'm really not doing a good job of taking care of myself. It seems like some of the "maintenance" I need always gets pushed to the back of the priority list, but ignoring obvious strain and symptoms doesn't fix the problem.

2 Cor. 5:9 ~ So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

While I hadn't even paid attention to all of the individual parts of my door, the noise was the "red flag" that we had a problem to address.


So, are you taking care of yourself like you need to? Does a Jesus loving girl really need to take care of herself any differently than someone who doesn't know or care about Him? And do you need accountability to address your issues? (I DO!!!)   I can't give you the 24 point inspection Tommy gave my door, but I am really excited about inviting you to get Fit 4Faith with me.

Tomorrow, stop by to do a little "24 point inspection" of your own, and then join me Friday to kick off 21 days of Fit 4Faith. I found an awesome resource to help us out. This is NOT a diet or an exercise plan or a routine. You'll see, along with me, why it matters to care for our frame and why it's one of the godliest things we can do. Over the next few weeks we'll look at some incredibly practical and clear scripture about our physical well being, and we'll look at some applications to life where we live it. We'll encourage each other to care for ourselves for long term healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's going to be refreshing. It's going to sound so much better than the scraping a lot of us hear.

And by the way, we all agree that our door is now has a peaceful sound that gives us confidence and freedom to go where we need to go. I hope you'll join me and let Fit 4Faith do the same for us together! 

See you tomorrow for the 24 point self check!

Roller Coaster sickness

Did you get to read yesterday's post about Roller Coaster Living? Almost as if to complete the illustration, last night was filled with stomach sickness!! 

We knew that the night before, our visiting missionary kids had come down with the virus. But as we sat down with our Romanian guests to the dinner I prepared last night, Jeff wobbled against the wall and told me he didn't feel well ... he didn't look well either. :/  When he only ate a piece of bread and excused himself apologetically, I knew we were in trouble.

Before I could set up the "First Aid Coaster Station,"  the phone rang, telling me another missionary was down.  The next fews hours ... okay, all night ... were rough. Imagine our surprise when we woke up early to be sure someone else was all set to cover leadership of the men's missions breakfast, only to find emails telling us another missionary man and another staff member had "gone down" in the night. A phone call came soon after, telling us another missionary lady had spent her night in the same way.

Sometimes roller coaster living takes a toll. There are hazards. But when we feel overwhelmed, it's good to go ahead and "get out the sickness," rest, let someone healthy care for you, and take small and consistent sips of something that restores life. 

Maybe there was a lot more to learn in that roller coaster project this week than I realized. And I appreciate your prayers for the sick here to be made well and for the well to stay well. You've been on the Coaster, and you know how it feels.

So glad the Lord is the One who holds my hand. How about you?

A stranger's love

It's hard to recognize what someone does for love when we're in the midst of great moments of grief. When Tara and her husband walked through dark days, they were comforted by what God did out of love for them and by the love shown by a stranger. When we obey God's gentle nudge to do something out of love, we may never know the difference it makes. Tara remembers the day ...

It was quiet, too quiet. All the rush of people in and out of the room the days before had come to an end. And the darkness, even the newborn bed that was made specifically to be lit up and warm was completely dark and still. The only movement now, came from the corner of the hospital labor and delivery room as my husband was waking from his fitful sleep.


My eyes went back to the unlit lamp over my son’s newborn warming bed, as a new rush of pain and despair of what would be happening soon rolled over me. My beautiful newborn son, Isaac, who I was so proud of, was delivered stillborn just hours before. This was the day that I would have to let my son go, force myself to walk out of the room, never to be able to hold his tiny 2 pound body or see his beautiful face in this life again.


My husband and I were not surprised or in shock. In fact we had been planning on this day for three months now. The doctors said our son had Trisomy 18, we needed to abort, and go on with life. We said no, we would let God decide the number of our son’s days and carry him safe in my womb as long as we could.


Well, during the long months of waiting, I had lots of questions for the Lord. One of the biggest was, “Lord, this is my son, my child. You are asking me to let him go. How will I leave the hospital and go home without him? Will you be there to give me strength to walk away? To say goodbye?” My Lord had proven Himself to be faithful before, but this time? I desperately wanted to know- would God be there? Would He give me the strength I needed, when I needed it most?

And here I was, waking up to that day.


After the long labor, we savored each minute we had holding him, rocking him, studying everything about him. He was so perfect- lots of black hair, long eyelashes, fuzzy eyebrows, the cutest little lips, fisted hands, even chubby cheeks!

Then it was time. And yes, God was there.


God’s mercy and peace flowed through the room as a kind nurse walked in. Before I handed her my precious tiny bundle, she naturally turned around and washed her hands. I handed her my son and she smiled gently down at him. She settled down in the rocking chair and rocked him slowly, and we were able to peacefully walk out of the room.


What a beautiful memory my Savior chose to leave me! My son, who the world saw as having no worth, being sweetly rocked while surrounded by these tender, loving arms! What a picture of His mercy! I am overwhelmed with God’s kindness to me, as well as His love and gentleness displayed towards my son. 


My spirit agrees with A. W. Tozer when he writes, “…how shall we thank You enough for Your mercy which comes down to the lowest part of our need to give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and for the spirit of heaviness a garment of praise?”


So after months of waiting, and praying, God did show up in another mighty way, showing Himself through the gentleness of this stranger.

Isaiah 51:12 says it best, “I, even I, am He who comforts you.”

Even in the midst of life's hardest moments, our merciful God places reminders of His love. Be watching ... how will God show His love to you today?

Thank you to Tara for sharing the story of her family and the many ways love was shown.