Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Go ahead ... permission to complain

It's been weeks since I first noticed a lingering "roar" in my right ear, left over after summer sickness. I've endured the distraction and inconvenience, and I've lost sleep laying awake to the sound of what reminds me of vacuuming ... If I could just make it to my doctor's appt with the ENT, I knew he would do something quick and painless and make it all the left over fluid go away.


He didn't make it go away. He broke the news that there isn't any left over fluid, but there's hearing loss in my ear and signs of a condition that is attacking my hearing. I left the office with an appt for an MRI, strict restrictions on my salt intake (Goodbye, french fries! I love you...), and prescriptions for things with ugly side effects. My happy expectation faded into surprise and discouragement, which bubbled over into tears after I handed the pharmacist the order. I sat down on a bench outside of Target, only to realize it was covered with rain ...  soaking the entire backside of my jeans.  (I think Satan added that part ...)

I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."
Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!    ~ Psalm 142: 5,6

I was feeling like I was "brought very low" by what is attacking me physically. Other things attack us emotionally, spiritually, even mentally. Psalm 142 tells us we can be "brought very low" when we're out of energy, confused, attacked, or just so alone. It also tells us God knows our way ... even the low way.

What do we do when we feel "brought low?" (vv. 1-2) Aside from sitting on a wet bench, you do what I did:
  • cry out to our Refuge
  • plead for mercy
  • pour out your complaint
  • tell Him your trouble

And what does He do when we come to Him with tears and fears and questions and ... okay, a little bit of an attitude? He "attends to" our cries, and we give thanks in return. Our right attitude will benefit the other children of God around us.  Oh, help me, Lord, to have a good attitude, so it's a benefit and not a burden to others! 

  • Have you been surprised by a hardship?  He knows your way.
  • Have you been brought low by an attack?  He is your portion.

You have permission to complain to your Refuge, sweet friend. Go ahead. He's listening, and there's room on the bench.

16 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Barbie said...

Oh Julie, I am so sorry.  I can understand how that brought quick discouragement for you.  I am going to pray for healing for that ear.  I know that God is able.

Mary@The Calm of His Presence said...

When I realized I could go to God with everything including my complaining it brought a freedom I had never known. He knows what's going on with us and wants us to release it to Him. When He hears our cries & releases us from our captives we can give Him the Glory! What an amazing God that loves us. Praying for you my friend.

Katie Montgomery said...

Oh Julie, I am so sorry to hear this news.  It seems you have had your fair share of challenges already : (  Hoping for the best and praying God encourages you and brings healing to your ear.

Julie_Sanders said...

Thank you Mary, and you are so right ... it brings freedom!

Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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Julie_Sanders said...

I appreciate that Barbie, and I know He is able to heal it or expand my ability to endure and rejoice over it!
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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Julie_Sanders said...

Thank you Katie, and thank you for your sweet note last week. It was great timing, and hand written notes these days are treasures! :) Hoping your week is sweet.
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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Mrs Mary Joy Pershing said...

Oh wow!  Sweet friend, I am so sorry you are having to endure this trial.  But you are right about God.  It is SO awesome that He is here and wants us to come with EVERYTHING to Him...the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives.  And the peace that He leaves us with is beyond every understanding that we have.  Amazing.  I am also glad that He is there to walk with us through everything and help us to learn to find contentment, during the hardest of times, in Him.  When I realized that I was depending on my situations in life for my peace instead of Him...and began turning over the situations to Him and realizing that He is the only place I will find real peace, the difference was amazing. (sorry about the run-on sentence!)  Still working on this...day by day...but so worth it.  

I am praying for you, Julie.  God is bigger than this problem too.  Praying He does something amazing for His Glory! :D

Julie_Sanders said...

Thank you Mary Joy. You are completely right that we can fall into depending on our situations for peace, but that's not reliable at all. He is completely sufficient to give peace at all times; pray for me to remember that at the "low" places. :) Maybe those "low" moments are the ones that show us that the most!
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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Pattie said...

I wonder if  you have the same thing I might have...that I cried outside the doctor's office about in June...and am now having to start over now that we moved, with a visit to my new GP and follow up....

Crying is ok. Crying to God is better.

Julie_Sanders said...

Crying to God is much better. :) I will pray your find a new doctor who can be helpful! That's one of the challenges of moving.
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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TeriLynneU said...

Julie, praying for you ... and crying alongside you, my friend. 

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing said...

We can pray for each other, friend.  I am not always good at remembering it either.  But you can count on me praying for you as you go through your low places.  I cannot imagine how hard what you are going through is, sweet friend.  I will also pray that God will reveal His purpose in all of this...how He is working through this for your benefit.  I have to remind myself to look for those moments in the hard times, myself sometimes.  But I appreciate your reminder that we need to go to God and pour out our heart, concerns and fears since He is the only one who know the big picture of our lives and what the challenges we face are preparing us to do for Him in the future.  

Here's a BIG HUG from me! 

Blessings!

Mrs Mary Joy

delia said...

Hi Julie. I am sorry to hear this. I will say a prayer for you!
I have been "sad" the last few months... it's been so strange to feel hopeless rather than hopeful! That's a new one for me. Little by little, I have been feeling better & back to my old self...but I have never felt more "attacked" then I do now.
Thank you for this post!

Julie_Sanders said...

You are welcome, and I'll pray for the Lord to help you fight the attack thru His strength and give you back your hope one moment at a time. Going to stop right now and pray for hopeful reminders for you today!
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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Julia Faulkner said...

Thank you!  :)  So often we are chided by well-meaning pastors and Bible teachers for our complaints . . . but God already knows what's in our hearts and minds and He DESIRES to bear our burdens!   He instructs us to cast  them on Him.

Julie_Sanders said...

Yes He DOES want to bear them ... and He already knows what's hiding in there.
Julie Sanders
www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com


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