Monday, July 18, 2011

Marriage Mondays ~ The right source

When we arrived at our vacation destination last week, I remembered another trip when I made a reservation for a rental car.

I approached the Avis desk, only to have them tell me they didn't have a car for us. After repeated explanations, getting Jeff involved, waiting, and re-negotiating (also known as begging) ... I realized my reservation WASN'T WITH AVIS! It was with Dollar Rent-A-Car. I was asking for/expecting/demanding something of Avis they never promised and couldn't produce. I was missing out on the car waiting for us a few desks away ....

Our family still gets a kick out of this "vacation moment." I'm starting to be able to chuckle over it. Starting ...

Sometimes I ask for/expect/demand something of my husband that he never promised me and can't produce. He promised a lot of things, but he didn't promise everything. He didn't promise to be able to satisfy all of my needs, yet I often put those expectations on him.

Last week I had a few days TOTALLY ALONE (if you don't count the moose outside) in an isolated cabin out west. My family took a few nights to backpack in the mountains, and I stayed "home" to have some time alone with the Lord and let my mind, body, and spirit have some rest. It was SO QUIET.  It's a quiet I have rarely experienced. I admit it ... a few times I thought I would run out into the marsh screaming, but I knew the mosquitoes would eat me alive or I would surely run into the angry mother moose with her 2 calves (SO CUTE) who would not be glad to see me. So I dove into Psalms, read, prayed, listened, and let the Lord refill me. Later this week, when I'm back in civilization ;), we're going to head deeper into Psalms territory. When I was in Psalm 4 last week, the Lord reminded me of something:

He alone is the giver of joy, the satisfier of all my needs, the giver of peace, the only One able to make me dwell in safety. 
There are many wives who say, "Who will show us some good? My husband, I hope! Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!"
You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound, so why do I expect my husband to be my joy giver?
 In peace I will both lie down and sleep even when I'm alone and afraid; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety, though I may fall into the trap of depending on my husband for safety.
Psalm 4:6-8 (Red letters are my responses)

Imagine trying to order a burger at Chick-fil-A or asking for a life jacket at a ski slope.  Imagine demanding to have your hair colored at the dentist office or insisting on college credit at your child's kindergarten graduation. Imagine telling the Avis agent you want to see their supervisor to give you your Dollar Rent-A-Car vehicle. (Humbling ........ )   Imagine expecting your husband to be your source of joy, satisfy all of your emotional needs, give you total peace, and keep you safe wherever you are. 

Sometimes I stand before my husband wanting something he was never intended or equipped to give me. He wants to meet my needs and make me happy, but he must get frustrated as I stand there insisting he must give me what I want from him, even if they are legitimate needs. Just one "desk" away, Jesus stands waiting to give me joy, peace, and safety in abundance. I don't want to miss out! I have to go to the "right desk!"

Let's free our husbands from wrong expectations, and let's allow the Lord to give us what only He can give. We'll enjoy them both more when we go to the "right one" for what we need.

Have you found yourself trying to get something from your husband or another friend that the Lord wants to be the One to give you?

Is God saying something to you to strengthen your marriage? Feel free to link up!

4 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Baby Pickel said...

Loved reading this!! Have a blessed Monday dear!

Lots of love from Baby Pickel

DN said...

Hi Julie,
Another beautiful post! I hate to admit this, but I found myself doing that this week! My poor husband. :)
I'm linking up today! Thanks!

Kristi Stephens said...

So true, Julie!! We actually were talking about this with the girls in our ABF yesterday- so easy to expect our men to do things they just can't do for us, instead of going to God to fill us, sustain us, give us peace!

Mindy said...

Oh.   This is good.   Really good.  You hit it right on.   Hunbling, yes.  My husband will thank you :)