Monday, November 8, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ You Need to Get Away

I had other plans for today's Marriage Monday, but I'll save that for next week. Today I just have to say - it's really good to get away as a couple! Leave work, laundry, pets, home improvements, and voice mail behind. There's something really good about driving away in the car together, letting the miles draw out your concerns like Tide to Go on a mustard stain. When was the last time you got away together?

Jeff and I got away Friday night and met friends at a Bed & Breakfast inn halfway between our homes. Since we don't have family in our area, this was made possible by our "adopted family" friend who used her singleness to serve us with gift of getting away, while being an "aunt" to our kids.

It didn't even matter that we missed our exit and ended up winding our way through the countryside on an "alternate route" (= we were lost). Yes, the trip was longer than planned, but we took a ride on the last remaining ferry on the Kentucky River, and our car time gave us the chance to do some catching up. Our B&B was less pricey than a big name hotel, offered a quiet setting, a place to spend time with our friends, and conversation with our hosts. A photo journal of our time together would mostly look like the 4 of us eating at a variety of places ... almost at a Sushi  house (we didn't stay), almost at a roadside diner, pasta in a quiet corner, cookies in the old dining room, breakfast pizza with a new couple, lunch at a BBQ joint ... While the food was good, it was the space and time to enjoy our spouses and our friends that really refreshed our souls.

The writer of Proverbs urges us to, "Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well," (Prov. 5:15) encouraging us to enjoy our own spouse, instead of sharing ourselves in physical and emotional intimacy with anyone else.  
The reality is, sometimes it's hard to get to the cistern!  A man could die of thirst waiting for the crowds to disperse around his own cistern. We have to clear the way in our lives, so we can enjoy the closeness of our marriage partner. Kids a problem?  Going away together to nurture your closeness can be one of the best things you can do for those kids. Don't let that stop you.

When we got in the car, no one argued about where they would sit, forgot their coat, or complained about getting a kids menu. No one knocked on our bedroom door or got in the middle to watch tv. Only one person asked to try my dinner. :) Sometimes it's just so good to have total permission to just enjoy each other. True, our friends got a call their teenage son was on the way to get stitches in his chin .... but we still managed to shut out the world for a little while and just enjoy each other. As a couple, that's permission we have to plan for in life, permission we don't get often enough, but so worth finding.

Here we are with B&B hosts Pastor Joe and Nancy
Our B&B hosts, Pastor Joe and Nancy, shared their story of being married 36 years. They admitted they have had their share of ups and downs and challenges, new directions and times of change (like our trip getting there), but they pushed through the hard times. As they welcomed us to the Inn, they were a beautiful picture of a couple enjoying the season that comes from persevering in life together.

Joe is a musician and sings a "country Christian" style of music. As a remembrance of our time with them, they gave us one of his CDs that includes two songs he wrote for Nancy at pivotal times in their marriage journey. When I told them about Marriage Mondays, they generously gave four CDs to share with YOU, my sweet readers, as a giveaway!  You will be encouraged by the songs of God's faithfulness to them and theirs to each other.

To be entered to win, I want you to leave a comment on this post and tell me:  What is one stress your marriage faces during the holidays?  

Remember I mentioned we met another couple across the table?  They weren't newlyweds, but they said  they've always faced marriage challenges of where to spend holidays.  This is a familiar story for many. You?  Next week we'll talk about "Holidays with the In-laws." So leave a comment or send me an email and let me know one thing that challenges your wedded bliss during the holiday season.  I'll announce the CD winners on Wednesday. I really want to hear your thoughts on this.

One last thing ... If you're hard pressed to know what to get your hubby for Christmas or what to ask for, you might consider a night away together. I can testify that it's a great gift!  Happy Marriage Mondays!

3 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Jennifer said...

I want to first say I enjoy reading your blog! I found your blog thru Glynnis Whitwer's blog. I've enjoyed reading both!! One stress we have is how much are we spending on the kids Christmas. My husband and I didn't have a lot growing up, so we like to buy our children things we know they want. Here lately we have stressed about what other people will think about our kids if we buy them certain things. We don't want our kids to seem spolied. After talking about it more we both know we have great kids. They are 10 and 9, very respectful and giving. This is one of the stresses we have this year!

Mary said...


I am so glad you and Jeff had a chance to get away this weekend. You are right. We do need a time to reconnect with our husbands. A few months ago we were blessed to be able to get away for a weekend. My husband & I have helped some friends get away recently by helping with their children. We know it can be difficult when you have young children but want others to enjoy a time of rejuvenation as a couple.

2003 Beach Bunch said...

My husband and I stress every year over the same thing. I am very proactive and want to get the shopping done....he wants to have an active part in picking out everyone's gifts. He is a procrastinator....we have to ship to 3 different states sometimes and it drive me crazy! I am hoping with time we will come to some kind of compromise!
Glad yall got away together!