Monday, October 11, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ See Dick See Jane

Last week we started talking about discouragement and getting "Up From the Dumps" when you're there, because sometimes we all go there. When we're single we may imagine getting married will make the "dumps" permanently disappear, but that's not the case. 

I am not a perfect wife. My husband is not a perfect husband. But I grew up reading "Dick and Jane" books that made it seem like Dick and Jane were perfect children who would grow up to be perfect grown ups - "Mother" and "Father" never looked like they were down in the dumps! Even Spot the dog was always perky! :) But the truth is ... sometimes our sinfulness is really obvious. Sometimes we let each other down. Sometimes we give each other reasons for discouragement.

While I want to be "real" on Marriage Mondays, I believe God's Word cautions (Yeah, verily, WARNS!) me about airing my own personal dirty laundry on the worldwide web or ever dishonoring my own husband. It's a fine line blogging about the miracle of marriage when one is married. ;) I am thankful to be married to a godly, loving husband, but he and I are both stuck in our fleshly bodies ... imagine that. ;)

As fleshly husbands and wives, we give each other reasons to "get down." It can be a temptation to "dump talk" (aka trash talk) our spouse when we have a legitimate beef, but this is where Dick has to see Jane through God's eyes, and Jane has to see Dick through God's eyes, too. We can resist the urge to "dump talk" our spouse by remembering:
When fleshly Dick resists the urge to get down in the dumps about Jane, and asks for God's perspective on his chosen mate, then Dick can see Jane as God sees her.  The same is true for Jane's attitude towards Dick.

Becoming "one" means that when one is down in the dumps, the other is going to feel it. It also means our weaknesses impact each other, but it's never the loving or right response to "dump talk" our mate. When we do, it hurts US. 

This is not to say we should ignore issues in our relationships. God wants healthy marriages, and that means dealing with the weaknesses and sick spots. "Dump talking" each other only makes matters worse. Let's ask God to help us see our mate through God's lens of love and grace, so our conversations can help lift each other Up From the Dumps.

To fight off that dump talk right now, why don't you start by leaving a comment that lifts up your spouse, or stop and send him a text/email/message that tells him something you love about him? In a place where you're having trouble thinking of something good?  Well Jane, try to look at Dick through God's eyes.  ;)

I hope you'll join me tomorrow as we continue our journey Up From the Dumps. If you haven't subscribed to email updates and don't want to miss new posts, you can click here.

Your Marriage Mondays prayer partner,

(aka Jane ;) )

4 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Maytina said...

Wonderful post!! I totally agree and my husband and talked about this last year in depth. So now, I take a cute photos of myself every morning and send it to him with a silly note. Even when I'm annoyed with him, I make sure I do it anyway and when he gets it, even if he's annoyed with me, he sends a sweet reply. I am sure it has stopped a lot of 'dump talking' before it even has a chance to start!

Nichole said...

Hi Julie,
I just recently became a follower of Warren @ Family Fountain and he recommended that I check out your page. It is lovely!
This post was great too. My husband and I have talked about this subject often. I love my husband so much that I want others to see him for the beautiful person that I do. Instead of "dumping," I tend to do the opposite. He does this too. Our issue becomes... do we talk about each other too much? We stop ourselves at times, because we feel like it may come off as boastful. :) Sometimes happiness is hard to hide (and I guess the same can be said for unhappiness.) I am so glad that we have the opposite problem, whew!
I love the idea of looking at our spouse (or anyone for that matter) through God's lens. This post really made me evaluate my blog since I try to share the good and the bad as well.
I look forward to reading more.
Have a great day.

NicoleKelso said...

What a GREAT blog for today! I wholeheartedly agree and am a firm believer in building my husband up rather than tearing him down, of course, building him up is so easy to do b/c he makes me want to do the little loving things for him and compliment him all the time to others b/c he shows such courtesy and respect to me, why would I want to do otherwise? I am beyond blessed in God's choice of a husband for me! :-)

Warren Baldwin said...

It tells you alot about a person when you hear what they say about their husband or wife.