Marriage Mondays ~ See Dick See Jane

Last week we started talking about discouragement and getting "Up From the Dumps" when you're there, because sometimes we all go there. When we're single we may imagine getting married will make the "dumps" permanently disappear, but that's not the case. 

I am not a perfect wife. My husband is not a perfect husband. But I grew up reading "Dick and Jane" books that made it seem like Dick and Jane were perfect children who would grow up to be perfect grown ups - "Mother" and "Father" never looked like they were down in the dumps! Even Spot the dog was always perky! :) But the truth is ... sometimes our sinfulness is really obvious. Sometimes we let each other down. Sometimes we give each other reasons for discouragement.



While I want to be "real" on Marriage Mondays, I believe God's Word cautions (Yeah, verily, WARNS!) me about airing my own personal dirty laundry on the worldwide web or ever dishonoring my own husband. It's a fine line blogging about the miracle of marriage when one is married. ;) I am thankful to be married to a godly, loving husband, but he and I are both stuck in our fleshly bodies ... imagine that. ;)

As fleshly husbands and wives, we give each other reasons to "get down." It can be a temptation to "dump talk" (aka trash talk) our spouse when we have a legitimate beef, but this is where Dick has to see Jane through God's eyes, and Jane has to see Dick through God's eyes, too. We can resist the urge to "dump talk" our spouse by remembering:

• they are made in God's image (Genesis 1:27)
• they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
• they are a work in progress with guaranteed completion (Phil. 1:6)
• they are forgiven by God (Col. 1:13,14)
• they are given God's grace (1 Cor. 15:10)
• they are a saint (Eph. 1:1)
• they are free from condemnation (Rom. 8:1-2)

When fleshly Dick resists the urge to get down in the dumps about Jane, and asks for God's perspective on his chosen mate, then Dick can see Jane as God sees her.  The same is true for Jane's attitude towards Dick.

Becoming "one" means that when one is down in the dumps, the other is going to feel it. It also means our weaknesses impact each other, but it's never the loving or right response to "dump talk" our mate. When we do, it hurts US. 


This is not to say we should ignore issues in our relationships. God wants healthy marriages, and that means dealing with the weaknesses and sick spots. "Dump talking" each other only makes matters worse. Let's ask God to help us see our mate through God's lens of love and grace, so our conversations can help lift each other Up From the Dumps.


To fight off that dump talk right now, why don't you start by leaving a comment that lifts up your spouse, or stop and send him a text/email/message that tells him something you love about him? In a place where you're having trouble thinking of something good?  Well Jane, try to look at Dick through God's eyes.  ;)

I hope you'll join me tomorrow as we continue our journey Up From the Dumps. If you haven't subscribed to email updates and don't want to miss new posts, you can click here.

Your Marriage Mondays prayer partner,

(aka Jane ;) )