Monday, October 4, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ "Done Good?"

This past weekend we went back to where we first met, when I was a college freshman, and he was a transfer student. It was my 20th year reunion, which made a lot of things obvious .... we all change, life includes the unexpected, and few of our lives unfolded as we thought they would. Our college president always said life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond, and as a remnant of our class gathered to re-connect, his words rang true. Most moments were joyful. A few were sad.

I guess it's the way God knit me together, but "reunioning" plunges me into deep thought ... and the capacity to consume large quantities of coffee. Since it's Marriage Monday, I'll share one thought that bumped around in my head this weekend. I couldn't help but ask myself, "Have I done my husband good?" Life is so much about choices. We both could've ended up in other relationships, lived other lives. But we chose to do life together, and at markers like 20 reunions, it's good to ask, "Have I done him good?"  O, I hope so!

But you don't have to wait for a 20 year reunion to ponder these things. In fact, I think it serves us well if consider questions like these early and often:
  • Who is my husband, because of "me in his life"?
  • How have we changed?
  • What has he gained because of me?
  • What have we done together?

Is his _____ better?  Fill in the blank with words like:  faith, reputation, character, health, confidence, experience, endurance.  Have I lifted him up to help him be the "best him" he can be? 

Fortunately, I know I'm NOT responsible for all my husband is.  He has the Holy Spirit for that! But I'm that "helper suitable for him," (Genesis 2:18) that one who "brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:12).  That's quite a calling, friends! Part of my mission in life as a wife is to "do him good" all of my life. That's what Marriage Mondays is all about.

Other than his relationship with God, a wife can be the best thing that ever happened to a man! When I've let my flesh rule me, instead of God's Spirit, I can be relieved to know God's grace covers my mistakes. God wants us to keep growing as a wife even more than we or our husband do.  Besides that, there's always another reunion to come, and that means another day to ponder ... "Have I done my hubby good?"

Sometimes it's good for us to take time to name a way we've done our husbands good. We may not take time to remember that an excellent wife's worth is "far more than rubies" (Proverbs 31:10).  If you're reading Marriage Mondays, then it shows you want to be a better wife.  YOU are a gem! Right now, before you "click away," can you name one way you've "done your husband good" in his life? I know you can, and I'm praying you'll be encouraged as you do.

4 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Mary said...


Thank you for your post. One way I have done my husband good is in his faith. Several years ago my desire was for him to be the spiritual leader of our home. I prayed daily for that to happen. Now he is the spiritual leader of our home. God is so good and answers prayers! One thing we have done during the 12 years of our marriage is have an occasional "check-in" of our marriage. We will go on a date or a weekend away and look at how things have gone in our marriage over the last few months or year. If there are things we need to improve we start working on them. If there are things we are doing well we make sure to acknowledge that and continue to do those things for each other.

Have a blessed day,

melanie chitwood said...

Yes, it is quite a calling! I'll be thinking about this today. I'm in Florida with my folks, he's in NC holding down the fort. So today he's doing me a lot of good with his support while I care for my parents. I guess we take turns sometimes...

Maytina said...

I love thinking about stuff like this!! We have been married for 10 years and I can easily list all the ways that my husband has made me a better person, but I've had to think about the other side of it! I certainly have helped him to become more social, which has helped in his career, and I know he's a lot healthier! I will be thinking about this more, thank you!

Mary Joy said...

Hi Julie! How have I done good for him. Well, he has quietly asked me to consider attending Reformer's Unanimous with him (which he has been attending on and off for a few years now) and for a few months I found reasons not to go...but last week I surprised him (after God convicted my heart) and went to him and asked if I could go with him on Friday night. The look on his face tore at my heart. He was so surprised and so pleased. He told me that it meant more than I would ever know for me to share this experience with him. I went...I met his friends...and God touched my heart while I was there and I decided to join this wonderful discipleship program. I admitted to him that I was so wrong for not going sooner and asked for his forgiveness. He told me that I was such a blessing to him. That he was so proud to introduce me to everyone at the meeting. I was so afraid of going because I struggle with being able to memorize scripture and I knew I would need to as a part of the program. I talked with him about my fears and in his eyes I could see the love and patience that means so much to me. Instead of me not telling him because I didn't want him to be embarassed by me...I opened up and it brought us even closer. Now we are working on this together and helping one another be accountable for taking our quiet time. He tells me that I am the best thing that happened to him outside of Jesus. I am floored by that because I still have so much to learn. But I feel so blessed to be on this journey with him.