Monday, June 14, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ Guaranteed Gift

Do you wish you could do something guaranteed to help your girlfriend's marriage? And what if you also knew it would help yours? There IS something we can do, and summer is a great time to do it, to give the gift every guy and girlfriend needs.


According to 1 Cor. 6:18-20, if we follow God, then our bodies are not our own. They were bought with the divine price of Jesus' blood and are now temples of the Holy Spirit, so our bodies are precious and exclusively for God's glory. God makes it clear (Prov. 5:18-21) He wants a married couple to enjoy each other, for a husband to be "ever captivated" by his wife's love. A husband and wife give themselves to each other in every way when they are married. That's part of the fun!


Modesty is first a gift to your own husband, and different cultures describe it differently, though God's Word has unchanging principles. Luke 11:34 says, "Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness." By having a modest appearance we help our own husbands keep their eyes filled with good things (us!). Modesty helps a husband maintain respect for himself by having a clean mind, and it helps him have respect for you (his wife) as he sees you deserving of dignity. In fact, Prov. 5:15-16 says, in reference to marriage, a man should drink from his "own cistern," his "own well," not sharing with strangers. His fountain is his own marriage. A wise husband cares about protecting what's "his most precious treasure," and a wise wife asks how she's doing taking care of it for him. This goes both ways, as HE takes care of his body, which is her precious treasure. Modesty encourages respect for the husband and for the wife.


Modesty is also a gift for the guys and girlfriends around us. For our girlfriend, the modesty of her friends: encourages her intimacy w/her husband, minimizes her insecurities, & avoids "stealing" thoughts and gazes meant for her alone. Bottom line: my modesty is respectful and helpful to my girlfriend's efforts in her own marriage. I WANT girlfriend like that, and I want to be a girlfriend like that! Do you? Read what Matt. 5:27-29 says about whether or not a "look" of lust can be innocent.


For our guy friends, modesty minimizes temptations he faces; we don't have to be Marilyn Monroe in order to be tempting, girls! All of us face temptation, according to James 1:14-16, and we don't want lust to take hold and become sin. Modesty around a married man helps eliminate distractions from his own wife. Ultimately, it helps him to guard his heart, and we want the best for our brothers in Christ (Rom. 12:9-11). Before we put on that awesomely cute, but dangerously low cut, sundress, we should remember that Rom. 14:21 makes it clear it's better not to do something, if it would cause a brother to fall. Guidelines to know what's modest? Read on ...


It's HOT here this week, and we can be tempted to just peel off the non-essentials! But even in our freedom, we should consider living out our faith through our modesty. It's good for our marriage and is guaranteed to be good for our girlfriends' marriages, too! (Not to mention, it's also good for our unmarried friends & watching kiddos)


I am NOT going to give you a list of my own personal opinions of what's modest. Instead, check back on Wednesday for some thoughts from the steamiest book of the Bible and take a look at a "modern day translation" of the "Zones of Intimacy," aka my "Five Point Check." In the meantime, I encourage you to ask your husband if he feels like you are dressing to honor him, and ask the Lord if you are dressing to honor Him. I'm sure they'll both let us know. ;)


For ideas of projects to build into your marriage for the rest of summer, you might check out Courtney's Marriage Challenge at Women Living Well.

Thanks for reading Marriage Mondays. I'm praying as you read and hoping we'll all be more encouraged to pursue God's best in the miracle of two becoming one. Blessings on your marriage!



15 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Traci Michele said...

This was a wonderful post Julie! We honor our husbands when we dress modestly.

Thank you for this post!

Kela said...

Modesty is another subject that I'm passionate about.
I'm so very thankful that that isn't a battle for my teenage daughters, but I hate that I can't say the same about some of their friends.

It's something that we guard even more because it's not a battle that my husband or sons should have to fight in their own home. Its a safe haven and I fight to keep it that way.

kristent1 said...

Love this post! This is something I'm definitely trying to work on! And you're right, we don't need to dress provocatively to be captivatingly beautiful to our husbands!

walkingwithangels said...

I to believe in modesty. respect for our husbands and mostly respect for ourselves. Its hard teaching my daughters this when most media is showing children that less is more.

Kristine said...

This is a great post and reminder that not only as Christian women do we need to be modest in our dress, but as wives.

Debbie said...

I enjoyed this post a LOT! I do try to be very modest in public, and then love to surprise my husband with something a bit more revealing (even just a skinny-strap tank top) at home and he seems to like it. =) I can still have the cute clothes and modify them for wearing in public...

Kristi Stephens said...

Love how you handled this topic, Julie!

Cherie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cherie said...

I really appreciate this post. My family was recently at the city swimming pool and I was appalled at the complete lack of modesty. I wanted to send my husband home!

Any thoughts on teaching modesty to girls who are too young for the marriage relationship side of it? How do you explain it without the sexual side?

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

OOPS! I don't know how and when I did it, but I accidentally deleted Cheri's 2nd comment. So sorry, Cheri. Here is what she said:

Do you have any recommendations on teaching this to children who HAVE NOT been taught about marriage purity yet? How do you explain modesty without it being sexual?


Great questions and such an important topic. I think we often shy away from it, because we really don't want to sound judgmental or be offensive, so we just don't talk about it at all.

I'm going to "chew on" the questions and comments, and I'll speak to them on Wednesday with more thoughts on modesty. For now, sleep calls ;)

Warren Baldwin said...

Practical and biblical. Very good post.

Crystal Roberts said...

I love this post, a different take on a very important subject, LOVe it! I want to use this as a link in my blog!

Stephanie said...

I love this post!
and its so true!
I just wonder why modesty isnt a serious issue among Christian women in this period of time?

Owner of Homeschool Faith and Family Life Website said...

Beautiful post! Glad to have found your blog via Crystal Robert's blog!
God bless you for building up the sacredness of modesty and illustrating the applications of this in the various aspects of our lives. I never actually pondered that in being modest, I am also building up my friendships. I love that!

A Mom After God's Own Heart said...

I found you through Women Living Well and have to say I love your blog!!! I am now following! Come by and check mine out sometime:)

http://therempels4.blogspot.com