Monday, May 3, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ Who's Driving Your Buggy?

I'm sure there's a reason why people in the South call a shopping cart a "buggy," but I have yet to figure it out. ;) Call me simple minded, but the sight of people driving around what they call "buggies" always makes me giggle. What you put in your CART ;) says a lot more about you, though, than what you call said shopping vehicle. The Lord really dealt with me not long ago while I was innocently shopping for my family.

Going to the store without a list is like going to a flea market with a pocketful of cash. Things will be bought that you do NOT need. So I had my list of priorities. Before I left on my mission, my sweet husband told me he would really love some swirled cinnamon raisin bread. "Hmph," I said to myself, "Not on the list. Not in the budget. Pray for a sale & maybe you'll get a loaf."

I carefully shopped for cereal I know the kids like, the bread I know goes over well in lunches, the tp that makes people comfy, and the seasonal veggies that help us be healthy. I scanned the cinnamon raisin bread out of duty, knowing it's rarely on sale. Sure enough, it wasn't. I told myself I was being a good steward, and if it was only a quarter cheaper, I would take my husband that bread he enjoys. Nada. He would have to enjoy my frugal gifts instead, I concluded. I felt sort of Proverbs 31ish ... in a twisted sort of way. ;)

Somewhere over by the Diet Dr. Pepper (WHAT was the Holy Spirit doing THERE?) the Lord began to convict me that the wrong desires often "drive my buggy." I'm careful to shop for what my dinner guests can eat, what the food pantry needs, what my kids need/want, but I expect my husband to "understand" that his food joys are at the bottom of our list unless there is a freebie or blue light special on things like .... cinnamon raisin bread. It's especially easy to convince ourselves that putting others, like our children, before our husband is the godly thing to do, but we do damage to our marriages when we make our spouse feel they come in 2nd and have to contend for our affections. Children actually benefit from a stronger marriage bond between parents and learn so much when they see us give preference to our mate.

Real love is like this, as Romans 12 so specifically describes here, serving God through zealous love that puts others first. A godly woman is looking out for ways to bring her husband good every day of her life (Prov. 31:12). It is part of her marriage mission, if she is a follower of God. I guess HE's driving her buggy, so He wants her to take it where it honors her man. How do you show your husband that he is your number 1 man?

So when I made my next list, I put cinnamon raisin bread at the top of the list, along with a few other things that communicate, "I'm listening. I'm loving. You're #1." That meant I left off a special drink and a trendy cracker and a few other things that had been higher on the "treats" list. When it comes to how we plan and shop and prioritize, our husbands love to know they don't compete for the prime place in our hearts, and we will put our money .... or our buggies ... where our hearts are.

I'm praying today for each one who reads Marriage Mondays today, whether or not you drive a cart or a buggy. :) And the winner of the "awesomely cute purse sized ESV Bible" is Alisa at Faith Imagined. I hope it will go with you all summer long.

If you write a post encouraging others with God's perspective on marriage, feel free to join the Mcklinky below and be polite by mentioning this host site and linking to Marriage Mondays, so readers can find more encouragement.

5 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Janine said...

Great husband and I just had a conversation yesterday about miserable marriages and that we are so glad that didn't include us. Sure, bumps in the road can shake you up, but they're not enough to send you off a cliff unless you don't have both hands on the wheel and God setting your cruise control. I'm your newest follower!

Warren Baldwin said...

From a husband's perspective ... ah, this is very wise counsel, and one much appreciated by husbands!

Rachel said...

Loved this!! (even though it was convicting!) By the way, I lived in the south for about 12 years and could never call it a buggy!! haha!! =)

Sarah B. SMITH said...

Thanks for your sweet comment Julie.. God designed Marriages to be strong as a unit together and you can only do that with the Lord as your leader. God Bless..

Kristi Stephens said...

I'm still catching up on posts I missed while we were away - always love your thoughts on marriage.

Unfortunately, for my hubby this means that I buy a LOT of sugar cereal. ;)