Monday, December 20, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ Your Husband Wants THIS

You can't wrap this one up, and there's no receipt to return it, but your husband really does want this for Christmas. Permission.  Permission to be who he is this Christmas.

This weekend I took the kids to our restored Theater to see White Christmas. We love to watch Bob, Phil, Betty, and Judy (sounds like a 1st grade reader, doesn't it?) act out the old post World War II story. We all agree we feel some angst during the 2nd half of the movie, when Betty and Bob are getting along so well that they share a late night sandwich by the fire and spontaeously sing the duet "Count Your Blessings."  (We also agreed we wish we would break out into hit songs spontaneously in real life!)  By this time in the movie, Betty considers Bob her knight on a white horse, and they're mutually smitten.

The problem comes post-duet the next morning, when Betty gets wrong info about Bob; instead of confronting him, she assumes the worst and acts on her supposed disappointment. Thus ... our angst.  WHY didn't Betty just ASK Bob!?!? Why didn't she believe the best of Bob? Why didn't she go the truth route?

It's easy to approach our holidays with great expectations (the thoughts, not the book) of our men. Like Betty, we may not even communicate our expectations, and when life's "script" unfolds, we may pout instead of applying wisdom. Let's give Betty a break here ... she didn't have MARRIAGE MONDAYS to read! ;) But we have God's Word, and we know that it's not loving to impose expectations of perfection on our men. We also know we need to speak the truth in love when there's an issue between us, because sometimes there will be. Pouting is one of those things God doesn't endorse.

Proverbs 25:24
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

So what are you expecting of your knight on a white horse?  Taking initiative to read the Christmas story to the kids? Dressing up (or even going to) for the Christmas Eve service? Him giving you gifts that show he knows you intimately and has listened to your "hints"?  Him breaking into song spontaneously?  What are you expecting?  Have you communicated these expectations? Have you applied God's wisdom to your expectations? Maybe instead of expecting Bob to the knight on a white horse, we should focus our energies on how we can love Bob and help him in the realm, or "show," in Betty's case. :)

Like any classic movie, there's a sweet ending, complete with snow, great costumes, a signature closing song, and love restored.  It's such a relief, because those were our expectations! :) But life isn't hollywood, and it's best to set our expectations of script-like Christmases aside.  Let's "count our blessings" by giving our men the gift of permission to be who they are, and let's enjoy it!

2 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Colletta said...

"White Christmas" is my all time favorite Christmas movie. I did a Movie Review on my blog

Thanks so much for this post. I was just making my husband a to-do list for this week and always am so confused at the way and order he chooses to do things. I will try to allow him to just be him this week and cause a lot less stress for both of us.

Pamela Seay said...

I love my Bob!

Now, I need to find this movie and watch it. It's been too long.