Monday, July 5, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ That's not a weed!

I've been driving down my street for the past month, tempted to come back after dark and pull out the increasingly large weeds sprouting behind the mailbox of the lady in the cute yellow cottage. Before you "un-follow" my blog ;) be assured I resisted the urge to be the weed burglar. Imagine my surprise, though, when the top of the "weeds" blossomed into beautiful multi-colored red and golden sunflowers. What I was being bothered by wasn't really a weed at all. It needed time to mature.

I have to admit I actually have some weeds in my OWN yard. Do you? I recently went out to do some weeding with great care. You see, weeks ago, I went out to "nip in the bud" any weeds that did not fit with my garden vision. I was unstoppable. I was determined. I was ruthless. I was wrong.

As I stood by soil once filled with bright green sprouts, my 15 yr old blossoming gardener daughter told me I had just pulled out the entire patch of "going to be beautiful" pineapple sage that becomes covered (or WOULD have...) with bright red blossoms all of late summer and fall. I was so sure they were the weeds that I was distracted from the fact that there were REAL weeds right behind me, lurking from under my steps. Preoccupied with the sage, I left the weeds to multiply.

The garden of marriage is mixed with the beautiful alongside the not so beautiful. Sometimes we attack what should be left alone or allowed to mature in time, while we completely ignore real scoundrels in our relationships. We might see issues sprouting and listen to others who tell us we should really do something about them, attack them, and "nip them in the bud." You know, things like a husband leaving socks on the floor or forgetting the trash or refusing to ask for directions ... We can get so caught up in our frustration over what we think are big weeds that we miss real ones tucked in the harder to find places. If Satan can keep us thinking about what doesn't really matter or lure us into attacking good things, he can keep our attention off of the real needs in our marriages.

Read here in 1 Peter 3 about how it's so important for wives to honor their husbands with a life of inner beauty and for husbands to live in a caring way, delighting in their wives. Let's ask God to help us take a close look today at what grows in our garden of marriage, to take care of what crowds out or strangles the beautiful blossoms that matter most. And when we notice something thriving that we're not sure about, let's ask the Lord to give us wisdom to know if it's a weed or just a blossom in the process of maturing. If we let Him have some time with His creation, what we would've picked at might just unfold into something amazing.

Have you been bothered by a weed in your garden lately? Have you been picking and pulling at the wrong sprouts? Is it distracting you from tending to what matters most? It's a Marriage Monday, the start of a new week. Let's recommit to letting the beautiful things have time to bloom and to knowing what's really a weed before we pick at it ;)

I'm praying for you as you read today, and if your garden needs some fertilizer from the Word of God and you're finding it hard to fit it in to your busy life, check out Scripture Dig today. I started a 2 part post to answer, "How do I fit it in?" Dig deep in the Word, and your garden of marriage will thrive!

2 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Kela said...

We are in a cultivating season. Taking precious care of what God has entrusted us with.

By seeing the ruin that's going on around us, my husband and I make it a point to daily connect and reconnect. We talk all throughout the day. We are accountable to each other; which makes it easier to see the little snares that do creep up.

A couple of keys that we work with is: Don't be so easily offended! and "My perception is my reality BUT is it truth?".

Don't let issues fester and build strife. There is not profit in that.

Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as much as depends on YOU, live peaceably with all men." (Emphasis added).

I've gone on enough here.

Be blessed!!

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

So true, the difference between perception and truth. The verse you gave is perfect for considering this goal in marriage. Thanks so much for sharing this, Kela.

Blessings as you are cultivating,