Monday, April 9, 2012

Marriage Mondays: Bedroom Boundaries

Do you ever feel like your husband is married to his phone, instead of you? Some people find it hard to disconnect from technology, especially phones, which are convenient enough to stash on a nightstand ... just to charge, of course. Is it hard for you to disconnect from your cell phone? Is it hard for your husband?

Last November, CNN contributor Bob Greene asked,  "Shouldn't we be spending less time checking and rechecking our many screens, large and small, and more time taking part in what used to be regarded as real life?"

Sometimes tech in intimate places causes problems; sometimes tech in intimate places covers up problems.

For a lot of people, distance from phones makes them feel like they might miss something. They're mentally creating status updates while in the midst of a conversation, or feeling the urge to "announce" all life events thru social media. Some spouses fight the urge to roll over and do quick check of Twitter or Facebook when they hear their phone vibrate or see the light of their screen. Have you ever stirred in the night, only to notice a blue glow coming from your spouse's side of the bed? Is it making you angry to fall asleep with Angry Birds? Some couples find the presence of technology in the bedroom interrupts their intimacy or at least stalls it or pours cold water on it.  Let's face it, it's not easy to be uninhibited when hundreds of followers are tweeting their presence.

If "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine..." (Song of Solomon 6:3a) then why invite someone else into our most private space to claim more than the nightstand?  Technology intruders claim our attention, our thoughts, and our affection.

Try these 7 bedroom boundaries
  1. Leave all technology devices (phones, laptops, games, etc) out of the bedroom. 
  2. Nightstands are off limits for phones ... even if they're just "charging." 
  3. Only the 2 of you belong in your bed ... leave the "followers" in the kitchen.
  4. If you're struggling with mental tech temptation, tell your spouse.
  5. Practice tech rest periods in the day; mutually agree on the "when."
  6. Model boundaries for your children; you'll do their spouse a favor.
  7. It's only going to get harder to set boundaries; don't wait any longer.

Boundaries guard opportunities for conversation, affection, prayer, and intimacy.  Remove the distractions to your love life and your quality of rest.   After all, you are your beloved's, and he is yours.  Don't share each other with a phone.

What boundaries will help your bedroom be all it can be? You'll sleep better with boundaries, and you'll enjoy your spouse more, too. 

Be sure to stop over to the Mom Initiative today, where I'm posting about 7 Springtime Ingredients for Growing Children.

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