Monday, June 13, 2011

Marriage Mondays ~ Rate Yourself 1 to 10

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being Harriet Olesen (Little House on the Prairie) and 10 being Shirley MacLaine (far out), how flexible are you as a wife?


Photo from Little House Memories
While the kids and I were packing the car to drive home Saturday morning, I wondered why Jeff wasn’t calling to “check” on us. My inner Harriet Olsen was suggesting I go from wondering to pouting. As we headed down the road, I pondered the wives I’ve been with while traveling from Asia to South America to the Midwest in the last month. Wives with husbands of great vision have something in common: they are flexible women. 

  • When a husband offered to take 4 women to a cultural site, his wife changed her plans to come with him and make it “culturally appropriate,” freeing him and guarding his reputation.
  • When a young wife’s husband had to ship out on a naval submarine, she packed up the kids and got another Navy wife to go on vacation with her extended family.
  • When we were late in getting home with a host husband, his wife fed the kids early and waited until we returned to make a meal to serve us.
  • A wife with an aging kitchen joyfully said repairs could wait, since her husband required surgery and needed to recover.
  • When a husband needed a week away to oversee work in another state, his wife took a week off her job to accompany him and enjoy some time together.
  • When a mixed group went white water rafting, 2 “non-rafting” wives still went along, but they drove along the river, taking pictures and cheering on the group, meeting up at the end.
  • A wife fell into the habit of jumping on Facebook after putting their child to bed each night. When she noticed her ignored husband finding something to occupy his night during those 10 minutes, she changed her habit and used the time to get a connection started with her hubby each evening.
Such an attitude can be the difference between having a husband free to embrace God’s vision or having a husband fearful of making a wrong move. Each individual decision may not seem life changing, but a pattern of flexibility, considering our husband first, can set our relationship tone.
A flexible wife has a free husband. She adds to his potential.
An inflexible wife has a fearful husband. She takes away from his potential.

Photo from Little House Memories
I wonder who Nels Olsen would’ve been, if Harriet was flexible. Maybe he would’ve been Charles Ingles!!!! ;) A flexible wife definitely has reasonable hopes and grace-filled expectations. She walks with the Lord and trusts Him to meet her needs, so changes in plans don’t send her reaching for the panic button.

A flexible wife starts her day holding loosely to her plans, ready to release them as God leads. He often uses a husband to deliver that “call.” A husband who learns that his ideas, dreams, impulses, surprises, or spontaneity are usually met with a lack of flexibility will stop sharing those ideas, dreams, impulses, surprises, and spontaneous thoughts. They’ll be slowly smothered.

We know the Apostle Peter had a mother in law, because she was healed in Luke 4:37-39, and that means he had a wife.Still named "Simon," he hadn't even been called as a disciple yet. To become a great evangelist and rock upon which the Church was built, his life was turned upside down. "Mrs. Peter" must've been one flexible gal to free her husband up to be the man God planned for him to be. The story could've ended, "But Peter's wife wasn't comfortable with the career change and didn't feel good about how the itinerant work would impact her routine." Aren't you glad it didn't? Most likely, Peter's wife was part of the ministry support team; what a journey the two of them must have known together! Harriet-Olsen-types don’t stay long on those kinds of journeys, and their husbands usually don’t either.

A flexible wife has a free husband. She adds to his potential.
An inflexible wife has a fearful husband. She takes away from his potential.
Where is your husband going? Is your flexibility encouraging him to get there? Or is a habit of inflexibility making it harder for him to reach his potential?

Let’s put our inner Harriet in her place and free our husbands to be the men God wants them to be.


10 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

trooppetrie said...

I am not linking up this week but am asking you to pray for my husband. you can read about why on my blog

Mary said...

Julie,

I love Little House on the Prairie :-). As my husband has taken on more responsibilities and leadership rolls at church I have tried hard to be flexible and supportive. I do my best to try to find ways to help him as he serves. Sometimes that means having to set my desires aside for a while. God has called us both to lay ministry. Sometimes it is as a couple and sometimes it is individually. My prayer is that in whatever way we are serving we are doing it to God's Glory.

Mary

Mary Pershing said...

Ouch!  lol  You really know how to put things into perspective!  While I was reading I saw flashes of memories of when I was a good and flexible wife (giving up her blog and following her husband to a new one where we minister together and I spend more time serving my family) and then again...I saw flashes of memories of when I've gotten frustrated and irritable because my husband tried to be spontaneous and wanted to go for a family walk in the middle of the day instead of at the time I "thought" we were going to go.  Sigh...thank you for sharing this...God is convicting my heart...I never want my husband to feel squelched and not come up with things for us to do because he is afraid of upsetting me for changing plans.  I think I need to go apologize to him...and let him know that I will really work hard on this area!!!  Some days I get it...and some days I fail.  

Julie...wasn't sure if the post I wrote today applies to the link up or not...can you read it and get back with me about whether or not you feel it qualifies?  Thanks!  Sure appreciate you and your ministry!!!

Dancing together at the foot of the Cross,

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

Julie_Sanders said...

Mary Joy, I don't seem to be able to get into your blog .... would love to read it, but I can't get in. Message me and let me know if there's something more I need to know. Wondering if the access changed as you've headed in a new direction. Let me know.

Until then, I'm glad to know the Lord is moving. :) I'm with you friend ... sometimes I get it, and sometimes I fail. So glad God's mercies are new every morning!

Julie Sanders www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

Julie_Sanders said...

Amen, Mary. Praying that along with you, friend!

Julie Sanders www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

Mary Pershing said...

Julie,

Sorry about that.  I am at a new blog.  The old one is now private as we transfer posts.  Here is the link...http://surrenderedlife.blogspot.com/2011/06/make-yourself-at-home.html.

So blessed at the Lord's mercy and to have such a patient and forgiving husband.  ;-)

Dancing Together at the Foot of the Cross,

Mrs Mary Joy Pershing

Becky H. said...

Wow! I am on that journey to being a flexible wife. For a long time I was very much like how you describe Harriet Olsen. I'm learning though! Your post reminds me of Proverbs 31 (not sure which verse): "She does him good and not evil all the days of his life."  We do our husbands good when we learn to "flow" with the things God puts on his heart. :)

Kristen said...

So true! I've definitely been guilty of being unflexible! I love this line:

 A flexible wife starts her day holding loosely to her plans, ready to release them as God leads.

I think I'm going to type that out and put it somewhere I will see it often as a reminder!

Erica said...

Wow, needed to hear this! Thank you!!

Julie_Sanders said...

That verse really seems to sum it up, doesn't it? Our "inner Harriet" needs to remember that daily ;)

Julie Sanders www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com