Monday, May 9, 2011

Marriage Mondays ~ Time for a Funeral?

It was one of those first warm nights when we met for coffee, and so we sat outside. The rain earlier that day had washed the tables and chairs, and my friend wiped down my chair and dried up the puddle there before me. I sipped my coffee slow and long, while she talked, finally telling me about the funeral.

Her marriage her been through some hard days and dark valleys; this was not news to me. But when she said that they finally came to a place where they had a "funeral" for their marriage, I caught my breath and waited. Had we taken a turn for the worse?

Sometimes death is God's means of healing. We know "There is a time for everything ... a time to be born and a time to die" (Eccl. 3:1-3).  When oneness is born between two people, we imagine that only physical death can separate us, but that's really not the case.  We can drift apart because of neglect, sin, offense, misunderstanding, failure, time, or circumstances. "Relational death" can separate us. 

My friend said she and her husband were closer than ever before, and it came after they had a "funeral" for their marriage. They agreed they had some diseased ways of relating, and their oneness was sick and gasping for breath. Together, they agreed they needed to let the old ways of living together "die" and  let their marriage be re-born.  I could see it in the joy on her face. 

God provided Jesus, so we could have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).  He doesn't want us to live in dead relationships, so if we are, we might need to "lay it to rest" and ask God to give it new life; He's the giver of new life. Maybe it's time to get a box and fill it with cards written with the offenses, the hurts, the sicknesses that have crept in, and then "bury" that box deep once and for all.  Let God resurrect a newly born marriage, one with abundant life as He intends!

Is it time for you to have a funeral?

Have you seen a marriage that was dying and has been re-born?

If you're posting some Biblical encouragement about marriage today, link up! :)

4 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Christiana M. said...

This post is great. Thanks for sharing. I think that there is a reason that God calls us to die to ourselves and to take up our crosses and follow Him. It's when we die to ourselves that we reach our greatest potential because we put Christ and others first.

Kristi Stephens said...

Beautiful! Amazing how God teaches us over and over again that we must die in order to truly live.

Julie_Sanders said...

That's so true, and a marriage really can't be sweet without the individuals dying to self. Seems like there can be lots of "dying" to make a marriage work and work abundantly!

Julie Sanders

Julie_Sanders said...

It's a theme we can't miss, isn't it? We don't often think of "death + marriage," but they really do go together.

Julie Sanders