Monday, March 7, 2011

Marriage Mondays ~ Verbal Accessories

Last week we hosted missionaries from Eastern Europe during our Global Missions Conference. On Saturday I had a cultural experience; I went to the MALL. I don't go to the mall often, so there's always a bit of a jolt. I realize how out of style I really am. :) As I walked past the window dressings, I noticed the accessories. Wide belts are definitely IN (I don't have one) this year. Trends are always changing. An accessory adds so much to an outfit.

As I interact with women and wives of all ages and stages, I'm aware of how our words accessorize us. There's a new trend the seems to be "dressing" the looks of many women today. It's not a wide belt or a leopard print. It's the words we use, and it's definitely adding to the overall statement many women are making. My own culture is shifting to more casual, crass, and often crude language. How are our verbal accessories contributing to our marriage relationships?

Proverbs 8:13 tells us the Lord hates evil and perverse speech.So where are Christian women getting ugly dressings?

Where are these ugly accessories coming from? 

"A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."   
Luke. 6:45.

It isn't just a matter of training our tongue; lovely language begins in a lovely heart. If we hear ourselves sprinkling in more crass, careless, or crude language, it may be a reflection of a heart that's becoming callous to what God considers ugly versus what He sees as beautiful. If we're having a steady diet of media (reading, movies, tv, etc) that includes a seasoning of crass language, we will gradually lose our distaste for it. Hey, it's not hard to see why we forget what true beauty is when we take inventory of the messages the world around us constantly feeds us. The world would have us believe language that's a little edgy, a little dirty, a little bold is beautiful.  How easily we are deceived. God makes it clear what it beautiful to Him here.

Verbal accessories that add to our beauty as women and as wives are seasoned with grace.We won't be prepared to speak with grace to the unbelieving world if we haven't gotten in the habit of holy talk with our closest friends and family or when no one is listening. Husbands find it awkward to see their wives as worthy of honor and dignity, a person of beauty inviting his tenderness, when a wife has dressed herself in an image that's not feminine and lacks in gentleness. It's hard for a man to cherish his lady when she doesn't act like much of a lady.
I'm not talking about being a diva or a pansy; language under control is an accessory of strength and beauty. Anyone can be common. It takes a wise woman to nurture her language. 
By sifting out low language, we not only make ourselves more feminine, more soft, and more beautiful for our husbands, but we "dress" ourselves in accessories that speak of godly beauty to the watching world. 

Wouldn't it be wonderful if our husband could describe our speech as tender, gentle, comforting, and clean? And wouldn't it be worth of praise if the world could say we must be a follower of God, because our language is so like what they know of Jesus?

Wide belts may be "in" this year, but lovely, gentle, clean verbal accessories are always "in" for the woman of God. May our words make our marriages and all of our relationships more beautiful in every season.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

10 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Mary Joy said...

I LOVE this post, Julie!!!!!! So very true! You are so right...pure and gentle language and tone of voice never go out of style for godly women/wives.

What a give we give our husbands when we remember that. I love your comment about how hard it is for our husbands to remember to treat us as ladies if our manner of speaking is hard and crass.

Thank you for this post!!! :D

Building Home with Him,

Mary Joy

Lisa Grace said...

I love it: LOVELY LANGUAGE BEGINS IN A LOVELY HEART. What a precious nugget I am tucking into my pocket for today to mull over and meditate on. Thank you so much!

Warren Baldwin said...

YOu write with good scriptural and personal insight. Good post.

Julie_Sanders said...

So nice to "see" you back :) and have been praying for you and your hubby. I know your gentle words have been healing to him these past weeks.

Julie Sanders

Mary Joy said...

Thank you, Julie! We really do appreciate it! God is in control even when we struggle through difficult times. He is still not up to good health yet...3 seizures today alone. God is teaching me a lot through all of this...leaning on Him to get through it.

God bless you!!!

Mary Joy

Jenifer said...

This is my first visit (I think anyway, I visist MANY blogs) and I love your site. God spoke to me recently and I started a Marriage Monday on my blog as well. :)

This is a great post. I love so much of it, but one thing that really caught my eye is where you said, it is hard for a man to cherish his lady, when she does not act like a lady. I want to be a 'lady' of God. I want to always be that soft spoken lady that God called me to be. Great post and I look forward to reading more in the future.

Julie_Sanders said...

Will keep praying with you, Mary Joy. I know your heart and mind and body must be heavy at times. Will pray for peace that passes understanding!

Julie Sanders

Julie_Sanders said...

That's great Jenifer! I'll look forward to seeing what's happening on your MM too. Always encouraging to "meet" someone who's rowing in rhythm toward the same goal. I'll look forward to visiting.  Blessings!

Julie Sanders

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Jenifer, a link doesn't show up for your site. I'd love to visit if you leave me a link. :)

Nicole said...

Enjoyed reading this. Words are so important.