Monday, November 29, 2010

Marriage Mondays ~ 21,900 Little Things

Can you see them?  Look harder.                 

Twenty-one thousand, nine hundred inches. That's what I added up to be the total number of inches Jeff has "scooted" the coffee maker in our 20 years of marriage. (Actually more than 20 yrs, but I'm throwing in the last 5 months as a freebie ;) You see, when Jeff makes coffee each morning, he has a habit of scooting the coffee maker out from the wall, because ... well, he has a few reasons. But he doesn't scoot it back.  :) He leaves it out ... about 3 inches per morning. It's a small thing, really, but after 20 yrs, that's a lot of inches. "Little things" really DON'T mean a lot, but they can uncover big things that mean more. 

What "little things" are you talking about or stewing about so far, this holiday season? Packing the car? :) The piece missing from the picture perfect pie you made? Putting lights on the tree? Someone finding a hidden surprise? How long you stay at a relative's house? How much you pay the sitter? Dinner getting cold while someone preaches a "sermon prayer?" How much you spend on a gift? Every couple's "little things" look different, but let's keep little things what they are = little.  And if they uncover something "big," then let's take care of those, without getting hung up on any of the 21,900 inches.

Are there little things between you and your spouse that you're letting create tension between the two of you? Small preferences or habits getting in the way of affection and warmth towards each other?  I'll admit it, I've thought of a variety of way to deal with the 21,900 in my life:

  • Nag persistently?  Nah, never works and wears us both out.
  • Screw the coffee maker to the counter while he's at work? Bad idea. Would crack the countertop. 
  • Send Jeff threatening anonymous emails? I can't keep secrets from him; I would tell.
  • Stop drinking coffee?  Ha ha ha.  That's funny. 
  • Pray about it? Here's where I said, "Oh come on, Julie. It's just 3 in. a day, and you have more significant things to pray about. It's a LITTLE thing. Now my attitude about the inches? That's a big thing." 
So, I decided to ask the Lord to help me die to myself when it comes to my 3 daily inches, put away the screw driver, open up a new bag of coffee, and shove that coffee maker back (in a godly way, of course ;) and put the LITTLE thing back where it belongs:  out of the way.

When it comes to the little things, God's Word reminds us that Christ-like love "is patient ... kind ... not easily angered ... keeps no record of wrongs ... always hopes, always perseveres" (from 1 Cor. 13:4-7).                                                     Not easily angered by little things.                          No record of little things.                            Persevering despite little things.                               Patient about little things.

What's your "little thing?" 
Praying you can shove it out of the way daily to where it belongs:  out of the way.

Blessings on you, friend, in the little and the big things of this miraculous thing called married life.

2 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Warren Baldwin said...

Mmmm, pretty funny. I scoot the coffee pot out from the wall, too. Go, Jeff!

My wife used to walk off with the hair brush in the morning and not always return it to the counter. So, I drilled a hole in the handle, got a long string, and tied the brush to the bathroom faucet. That didn't go over well.

Good post about the inconsequential nature of the little things.

Haven't had marriage post the last couple of weeks. Erratic schedule - weekend youth trip, etc.

Will you be doing M M next year? I have a number of guest-posters on the theme of marriage I plan to link up here if you do.


Traci Michele said...

wonderful post Julie! I've missed posting here.... love to you! Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations