A Lot More than a Meatball ...

Maybe it started with my 2nd langousche in Romania ... after all (I told myself) how often am I going to be in Europe? And when I got home, I had this craving for potato chips, and a friend suggested jet lag was causing my "need" for carbs ... so I gave in and lifted the ban on all things deep fried and salty. The kids were begging for some homemade cookies (backlash from the store bought bag while I was in Romania eating langousche), so I gave in and made (not my usual 1/2 batch) the full batch of cowboy cookies, putting frozen balls into the freezer so I can ... oops, THEY can .... have them any time. Mix into a couple of discouraging days, "free" hot dogs at progress report night, and a craving for chocolate only explained by "the cycle," and I had the perfect storm. I'm sounding like a victim; I'm feeling better.

So, yesterday, Jacob had worked really hard. I thought it was time for a treat, so we went to catch an early matinee of the new movie "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs." Like any good one time elementary school teacher, I've read the book, so I thought it was innocuous. But by this time, my thinking was dulled by all the .... well, you get it. On our way to the movie, we had COUPONS (hearing a pattern?), so we picked up 2 free Chick-fil-A sandwiches, waffle fries, and a medium drink (I DID pick diet Dr. Pepper ... like that made a differerence), and headed to the movie where we were given a free small popcorn. ;) Did I mention I met a friend for coffee at Panera early that morning, while Jacob worked on Geography? This is getting embarassing.

We watched the movie while we ate our CFA and free popcorn, and we howled and smiled and went "hmmm" together. I needed a good laugh; it's a great movie for that. So creative, so clever. About so much more than giant pieces of pressed meat in sauce falling from the sky.

AND it actually had great "food for thought," like how we go to great lengths just to be liked, how we struggle to share our feelings, how we stereotype people, how we can inspire others, and how mankind has a tendency to indulge in momentary pleasures without considering the future pain ..... this I contemplated .... and then dismissed, like the piece of poporn that fell under my seat.

In the car line really early (don't want to waste gas to go home), we had 1 hour to continue working on math while waiting for Jo to get out of school. It was hot, so I drank a (I WISH I could say water!) creme soda!!!! ... bought with the change I found in the car. :/ Ran home to marinade meat for the next day, do a quick change, and take Jo to an appt. Then we headed for progress report night, and that takes me back to the hot dog .... and the orange crush soda I had with it.

NOW I really am embarassed. Jeff doesn't even know about all of the junk of yesterday, let alone the past week. It's VERY out of character for me, and I don't know where/when/how it started. But this morning I woke up feeling like there was a shoe in my stomach .... or a bottle of cream soda and a bag of popcorn. :( This was all quite ironice considering the movie I had just seen about people who were out of control with the pleasures of food so close at hand, without thought to their consequences. It was like so many other things .... credit cards, computer time, shopping, coffee, or any number of "good things" gone bad. Gripping my stomach, while propped up against the corner of the kitchen counter, I admitted to Jeff that my stupidity in light of the "children's" movie theme I had just watched was truly surprising, even to me. :)

Lest you go to church with me and want to check and see if my pants look fuller this Sunday, don't even think about it. I have an unforgiving body shaper ready to reign me in. Before I send myself to a total timeout for failure to recognize a trend earlier or stop the madness, I am comforted by the ancient words of friend and teacher, Paul ...

^{Taken from Romans 7 ~
15}I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing...When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God's law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind ... ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? ²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!...

I am here (sluggish, but here) to testify that sin doesn't really feel good. Is it just me, or does anyone else out there see you've fallen into a bad pattern? Go see the movie .... but take a water and a bag a carrot sticks. :) I'm taking this passage from Paul's story and a bottle or Pepto, and I'm claiming God's mercies that are new every morning, and I'm starting back on the narrow way. :) Hope to run into you there.