Friday, February 13, 2009

Heavy Hearted Husbands

As a follow up to my story on Wednesday about "Flying Skoal," I want to exhort the wives out there with some ways to encourage husbands who are heavy hearted. There are many right now. When God promised Adam that he would always have "painful toil" and "thorns and thistles" and "the sweat of your brow" for the rest of his life, He was foreshadowing life in the 21st century and every century before it. Some men may have recently heard some of the difficult "4 words" from my post list on Tuesday. Many are struggling with job pressure or loss, financial concerns, insecurity, disappointment, and identity in these tumultuous times. But just as the man was told that he would labor for his lifetime, woman was given the name "Eve," "mother of all the living." Women were given the unique task of bringing encouragement and comfort to the world of toil.

Here are some ideas for how to lift a "heavy hearted husband," on Valentine's Day and every day after:

  1. Tell him and your children what he does well. Be sure to leave out exception words like "but, except …"
  2. Ask him how you can pray for him today, and then pray for him through the day.
  3. In the morning, ask if there's anything you could do to help him today. If at all possible, do it.
  4. Pay attention to the food he likes, and then buy, order, or fix it.
  5. Sit down and give him eye contact when he's ready to share his thoughts. Have kids? Unless it involves vomit, make them wait.
  6. Listen to the tone of your voice, and then ask God to help you develop a sound that soothes.
  7. Smile at him with your mouth and eyes.
  8. Everyone has touches we love and others we don't, but loving touch speaks volumes and comforts. Touch him.
  9. Express appreciation for what he does and don't fall into the trap of taking him for granted. Thank God for him.
  10. Do an unexpected act of kindness that he appreciates (bring him a drink, wash his car, pick up a book or magazine from the library on a topic he likes)

There are a lot of heavy hearted husbands out there today. "We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us," Romans 5:3-5. We can be conduits of hope in the hearts of our heavy hearted husbands, and as we do, God will be glorified. Go get 'em, Eve!

3 COMMENTS ~ Click here to leave a COMMENT:

Bridgette Boudreaux said...

I want to add one thing to your list: "Be the soft!" This is my motto for my roll as a wife and mother in our house. I need to be the soft place that my husband (and son) want to come to when the world is cruel and uncaring. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my duties or hobbies as a mom, wife, friend, etc. but I always need to remember to "Be the soft!" for my husband first and foremost.

LuvtheWord said...

I love that. A long time ago, an older friend encouraged me to be the "buffer" for my family from the hardness of the world around us. "Be the soft!" is a great way to say that. Your family will be blessed.
- Julie

Tammy said...

Wonderful advice and a good reminder as things outside the walls of our homes become a harder and more difficult that they need that soft spot even more.