Life Off Line Challenge: God's Word

There's no easy way to live Life Off Line for God. To experience God's blessing, we have to walk in His way, spend time in His Word, and listen to Him. We can't substitute for it or leave it out and still expect to be blessed. Psalm 1 takes away any doubt about that. Today we're engaging in God's Word Off and On line through Bible studies, prayer resources, worship music, and even serving. Some of us are being distracted from the truth by our tech, starting out reading a passage, only to end up posting a status or checking an email. We need to rediscover real truth, without distraction. God's Spirit still moves in real hearts, in real people, to change real lives, to bring the real God glory.

Real growth in godliness shows Off Line. It may be tweeted or posted, but it grows and shows first in Life Off Line. 

How are you engaging in God's Word? There's no excuse to say we don't have money for a guide, access to a bookstore, or a study Bible. "On line" has made God's Word accessible to countless more people, globally. Awesome! I want to share an on line opportunity that will change you off line. It's an invitation to study Ephesians with my friend Kathy Howard; it will be time well spent.

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Why don’t you just grow up? – Your invite to study Ephesians

Many of us take a hard look in the mirror this time of year. Often, what we see makes us cringe – or at least sigh. After that critical evaluation many of us commit to new diets and exercise habits. (Another course of action of course, would be to simply throw away the mirror!)


But when was the last time you evaluated your spiritual condition? Do you feel strong in the Lord and in His mighty power or is your faith flabby? Are you experiencing every spiritual blessing in Christ or is your soul undernourished?


Every Christian needs regular encouragement and strengthening from the community of faith to continue to grow. So, I invite you to join me for some spiritual encouragement through a study of Ephesians. This letter, written by Paul, is one of the most encouraging, faith-building books of the Bible. Here are a few key ways this study of Ephesians will get your faith in shape:

• · You will contemplate all the spiritual blessings God has given you through Christ.
• · You will soak in the truth of who you are in Christ.
• · You will discover how to live out your faith and grow up spiritually within the context of the church.

Won’t you join me? The introductory lesson for “Growing Up Together: A Study of Ephesians” will be posted Wednesday, January 18th with six more lessons to follow. It won’t be incredibly time intense but you will dig deep into the treasure of God’s Word.


Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV).


Are you in? Tell me how you’d like to see your faith grow in 2012.

~ Kathy

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Today's Life Off Line Challenge: 
- Read on an app, on a blog, or in a leather bound copy, but read the first chapter of Ephesians.
- Write a one sentence expression of gratitude to God for giving us His word and for allowing on line resources to spread His truth around the world. Don't have any old fashioned paper? ;) You can even leave your gratitude to the Lord as a comment!

Life Off Line Challenge: Friendship

Congrats to Roxie for winning the Gooseberry Patch 2012 Family Meal Planner/Calendar! Thanks to everyone for sharing great suggestions for online recipes. Check this post if you want to read the awesome suggestions in the comments.

So what has the ONline world done to your friendships? Are you living a double life as someone else online? Or have you found genuine support in new relationships? In her book Friending, Lynn Baab says that "people thrive on connections." So true, but the world of on line media is changing the way we connect. Lynn also identifies our biggest challenges today as mobility and busyness.

Proverbs 18:24 points out that, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Seriously, I have hundreds of "friends" on Facebook, but the definition of "friend" there is honestly different than what it has been in the past. Or is it? 

We have more contacts than ever, but does "friend" have different meanings? Do we really mean acquaintance? Contact? And are we still having regular, face to face, deep friendships, or have we forgotten how? It's pretty clear today that there are different kinds of friendships, and there are different modes of communication. New ones are being added all the time. How do your friends connect? 


When we have a preferred means of connection, it's easy to fall into the trap of assuming our friends connect the way we do. It's also easy to try and manipulate them into communicating in our way. "If you're not on Facebook, well, I guess you won't be my friend." ;) That's not friendly! Just because I "blog" (now a verb), I can't assume that all of my friends will have read all (or any!) of my blog, and I can't be offended if they didn't. If someone posts a FB status that they're having a baby, they can't assume everyone knows. Some friends communicate best in person, some on the phone, some thru texting. We have to know our friend's language and reach them that way, if we're to nurture the friendship. My sister Jenny isn't on Facebook and doesn't text; I need to call or email her. My sister Carrie and I like to text. My sister-in-law Chrissy had a daily blog in December to show us Christmas with her twins, but since she had another baby this week, I can't expect daily updates! Friends have different preferences. If a friend is to stick closer than a brother, then we have to find out how to stick to our particular friends. 


Real principles from our lives OFF line still apply ON line. Real people are behind online voices. Be ye kind ... build one another up in love ... be angry and yet do not sin ... God's Word guides us in each new tech mode. Online communication can keep us more up to date, preparing the way for "real" connection, or it can keep us from being real. Without realizing it, we may become more intimate online than offline. 

Think about these ONline benefits and these OFFline cautions:
Benefit of bridging distance .... caution of becoming distant in local relationships.
Benefit of creating community ... caution of just choosing people like us.
Benefit of nurturing intimacy ... caution of voyeurism, snooping into people's lives.
Benefit of providing support ... caution of assuming what people should/do know.
Benefit of expanding options ... caution of being overloaded w/people & info.

Life on line helps overcome the distance and fast pace that are challenges to friendships today, but we still need a deep and authentic quality in some of our relationships. It will be that kind of a friendship that will ride the waves of adversity  ... and they may ride it online or offline. We benefit from both. I've benefited from both.

Do you need to "Rediscover Real" in your friendships? Here are a few ideas for the Life OFF Line Challenge today:

Life OFF Line Challenge -

• Have you made a friend ON line? Get their real address and mail them something "real." I've had several on linen friends do this, and it so blessed me!! You could also set up a Skype call or phone call. Take the virtual relationship a "real" step further.
• Remember your local friends. Do something old fashioned ... go out for real coffee, talk on the phone, or get really crazy and invite them to your REAL house for dinner! ;) 

There IS a friend who sticks closer than a brother, & we can rediscover how sweet they are in Life Off Line.

What lessons have you learned in "friending" people online?

Life Off Line Challenge: Hospitality

So in my blog planning notebook, today's "Life Off Line Challenge" is "Hospitality." I thought about sharing my favorite books on hospitality, writing about the guest books we've kept through the years, about the blessing of having people in your home, or about how you don't have to have the latest color scheme to invite people in.  But then ...


Monday night we were laying on the bed with our 17 year old daughter, talking about the rather typical teen issue of wanting/needing the car, and our conversation went from that to other things. Before I knew it, my words had been harsh, she felt turned away, and the door to her heart and mine closed off from one another. She left with watery eyes, and I turned to Jeff with a heavy mind. He gently welcomed me though I didn't deserve it, invited me to be vulnerable, and shared what I needed to hear. I took the walk down the dark hallway to confess my sin of being inhospitable to my own, to ask Jo's forgiveness and to give mine in return. 


It's a good thing to be hospitable to strangers. Hospitality is so much in need in our world that many colleges even offer an online hospitality management degree. Hebrews 13:2 tells us to be hospitable to strangers, and that means working it out by opening our hands and homes OFF line. But true hospitality starts at home, by rolling out the welcome mat with our words and facial expressions and tones to those we live with. We can't invite others to come and be served and encouraged if we don't live Life Off Line that way at home. 

And I didn't even get to tell you about the cute signs I use for coffee at parties ... but that's okay. My family knows how the kitchen works, and that's where Hospitality off line starts.

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:
- Do one special thing to prepare to "welcome" your family/roommates home, as a reminder to do so with your heart. Like ... light a candle, make a sign to hang on the door, make some tea/coffee when you normally wouldn't, or be AT the door to greet them. Then invite them into your heart.
- Next time your tongue takes over, stop and consider how you would say the same "content" to a stranger before you speak it to a loved one.

Life Off Line: Real truth, real women, real life!

Today I'm off to do one of my most favorite things ... teach God's real truth to real women in a way that applies to real life! :) Woo hoo!  I'll be at Serenity Women's Shelter giving the chapel message; we'll be focusing on the secret to living with full joy. I'll share it "on line" soon. I really want to tell you now, but I'll be sharing a piece of it at our Women's Mini-Retreat a week from Saturday, and I don't want to spoil the surprise!  This message is the theme of my year, off line and on. 

• If you see this post in the morning, I would really appreciate your prayers as I speak at 10 am.
• If you see this later (I bet you get email in your inbox ... awesome!) then I appreciate your prayers for God to grow the seeds of His word that were planted in real hearts. 
• Either way ... thanks for saying a prayer for God's Spirit to guide my mouth and soften the listeners' hearts. 

I'll post a few pics later on the Come Have a Peace Facebook page and give an update.

See you Monday for Marriage Mondays! We'll be talking about another "real life" issue of marriage off line.

This weekend's Off Line Challenge:
- Rediscover the sweetness of a real friend through a Skype call, a phone call, a hug in the hallway, or sitting down for coffee (luxury!).
- Turn some of your on line life to hibernate, and just focus on life off line for a day. Saturday? Sunday? 1/2 day? And then breathe deeply and quietly while you're "off."

News about On Line Friendships

In taking time to think about how Life OFF Line merges with Life ON Line, I'm convinced of this: Virtual is valuable, but off line is not obsolete.

Do you think Life ON Line has changed your friendships? For the better? For the worse? The impact on our relationships sort of gradually crept up on us, but there's no doubt that our friendships are being influenced. 

Three years ago, when I started blogging on Come Have a Peace, (CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT's. BEEN. 3. YEARS!!!) I never expected some of the friendship blessings I would encounter online. In fact, I was pretty skeptical about "real relationships" happening in virtual places. Today I want to share about 2 new things for this new year that have blossomed due to online friendships God has gifted me with.

DO NOT DEPART

You know I love writing with the Scripture Dig team, but God is doing a new and exciting thing with our team. We are MERGING with another group of Bible loving blogger gals at Do Not Depart. You can read about how God tied our teams together at Scripture Dig and at Do Not Depart. I'm anticipating sweet relationships and fruit from our partnership at Do Not Depart.



MOM Initiative

In blogging with the Dig team, I developed a friendship with Stephanie Shott. I loved having Stephanie as a partner at our "real" Women's Retreat last spring. We share a heart for influencing mothers and other cultures with the truth of God's Word. Stephanie is launching a ministry called the MOM Initiative, and I'm excited to be writing as a "mentor mom" with my friend Stephanie. She believes that ...

IF THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE RULES THE WORLD –

THEN THE CHURCH THAT MENTORS THOSE HANDS WILL WIN IT!

The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers on a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. It exists as a group of moms and a package of resources to equip, enable and support women as they experience Titus 2 in real life.


I invite you, my online friends, to check out these 2 new sites where I'll be writing, and be sure to "like" their facebook pages and follow on Twitter. Have you "liked" and followed Come Have a Peace?


Satan is a spoiler who loves to ruin seeds that would bear fruit, but God is able to take the potential of the on line world and use it for good. I love the God-loving friends I've made along my blogging journey. They encourage, teach, inspire, and bless me.

Tomorrow we'll continue our Life Off Line Challenge as we talk about friendship. How is the On Line world influencing your relationships?

Life Off Line: 5 Ways to be sure to pray

Today you can find me over at The MOM Initiative posting about Parenting out of the Pit of Addiction.

Today is also the official merger day of Scripture Dig and Do Not Depart. I'm excited to be "going along" as part of the Do Not Depart contributor team. Right now our Bible study together is called Run to Him and is based on various Psalms. This week we read Psalm 4, and 2 phrases got my attention in my real Life Off Line: 

• "Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!" v. 1
• "the Lord hears when I call to him." v. 3

The "when I call" repetition grabbed me, because it's so easy to be so caught up with so many things that I just fail to call. .... Kid appointments. Work demands. Laundry loads. Physical weakness. People pressure. Legitimate needs. I can get caught up in all the "doing" and in attempting to work out my own answers that I leave out "when I call."  

5 Ways to be sure I call:

1. Get up a little earlier or stay up a little later
2. Find a place to be alone (when all else fails, the bathroom ...)
3. Sit still and think about God (the car works!)
4. Open my Bible and pray back His words
5. Use a simple prayer journal to keep me focused

Next week I'll wrap up the Life Off Line focus, but I will never cease to need to stop and call on the Lord. He will hear and answer ... when I call. 

Other topics you might want to read from our Life Off Line series:

• Friendship
• Marriage: How to Have a Real Fight
• Real Hospitality
• God's Word
• Real Truth, Real Women
• 7 Real Habits for Happy Marriage
• Real Encouragement
• Snowman Craft
• Marriage: How do you do w/mess? 
• Are you resting?

Life Off Line: What's real encouragement?

In adding life online we have new ways of encouraging each other. By clicking "Like" or adding a comment we send a burst of blessing to those we know well or those we know a little and want to reach out to. But has the "Like" button deceived us into thinking that we're "doing" real encouragement?


At the beginning of this week, I shared on Do Not Depart about the danger of ignoring what we see in the mirror, about walking away from what stares back at us from the reflection of God's word. It tells us to be active and pure in how we apply it, but today it's easy to fall into the trap of giving encouragement that's barely an inch deep.


If we think we're people of faith and don't act on what we're taught, our faith is worthless. Our exposure to needs requires a response. True faith acts on the needs of others. The example James offers relates to orphans and widows. You can read all of James 1:21-27 here. Is my faith worthless or true?  With the explosion of information, we can't realistically respond to every single need we're exposed to. We wouldn't have time to get dressed! But if faith is real, it should produce real encouragement. In today's world that may look like:

• Clicking the "like" button.
• Commenting about a status. 
• Sending an email or a text. 
• Taking a meal to someone who posted that their family is ill.
• Praying about a need shared on a blog, Facebook, Twitter, or church.
• Writing a card to someone who has a Caring Bridge site. 

The worlds of online and off line encouragement are colliding to give us a wider range of options for real encouragement. Let's not just be hearers, let's be doers, encouraging one another for real. Next time we ask "How are you?" or respond "Praying for you," let's pause to consider if our faith and our encouragement are real.

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:
- Ask God to show you a need online today; choose a way to respond with real encouragement.
- Take a need you're aware of, & encourage someone off line ... a meal, card, phone call, visit?

How have you been most encouraged online? 
How are you most encouraged off line? 

Marriage Mondays: Real Life CHALLENGE

I'm feeling a little slow blogging into a new year. I feel like I need to do some warm up exercises to get started. For a while, my mind has been chewing on the portion of "Life Online" blended with "Life Offline" and all of the changes and challenges that have come with it. Unlike most questions in life, we can't go to older people to ask how they navigated this in their lives, because it wasn't part of their lives. People just started actively using email in the 1990s, and online communication has gone viral from there. In the process, it's been easy to let real life slip through our fingers.

I want to spend January talking about everyday wisdom from God's Word about Life OFF Line - Rediscovering What's Real. For each topic, I'll give ideas for how to rediscover real life, and I  hope you'll take the challenge to rediscover real life with me.


When it comes to marriage, electronic communication has changed the game for all of us. We may find ourselves encouraged, helped, and even mentored by online resources and articles (Marriage Monday? I hope so.), gaining accountability and finding support. Those separated by work or deployment are grateful to chat or Skype. We've discovered the temptation to compare our reality to online portrayals of other couples, and easy access to images has made the pornography trap more private and accessible than ever. Visual stimulation has changed the expectations of newly married couples when they get "skin to skin." Social media like Facebook has made us consider who we "friend" and what we say. Some couples have found themselves spending their "talk time" or "in bed together time" on blog reading (or writing) or ... playing Angry Birds.

Electronic pieces of life can bring a husband and wife closer or push them apart. Life ON Line has changed marriage.

While there's good potential and hidden problems, and there's both, digital touch is no substitute for the real. If our touch and connection wane or become mostly technical, it's incomplete. Real touch reduces our stress, affirms and comforts, and expresses love. Psalm 37 gives us a picture of how secure we are in God's love, since He "is the One who holds hand."  Secure love touches. We still need to: 

• hold hands
• embrace
• caress a face
• run fingers through hair
• lay a hand on a leg
• be in bed together (awake AND asleep ;) )
  

Instead of becoming a barrier to oneness, the virtual can lay tracks to real romance.

• email "I love you" or another message
• make your profile pic an affirmation of your oneness
• honor your spouse in the "friends" you accept
• make your online life open to each other
• text "thinking of you"
• leave a voice mail, just so your spouse hears your voice

Ultimately, romance comes together in real life.
In the Song of Solomon, verbs are used to describe history's hottest romance:  brought, joined, embrace ... Real touch. Real romance, because the question is asked, "Why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions?" (SS 1:7)  Modern translation:  Why should we veil ourselves by letting romance be driven by technology? Let it lay the tracks to real romance.

Today's Life Off Line Challenge: 

• Ask God to show you how ON line influences are adding to or taking away from your real marital relationship.

• Reread the list of touching, making a mental note of your habits. Touch your man today, and he'll get the message that you love him.

*Marriage Mondays will continue this year, but I won't be using a Linky list. Watch for occasional guest posts and links to other resources.

Tasty Tuesday ~ Cocoa Bar & Life Off Line GIVEAWAY

In case I feel like I miss the holidays, a few extra pounds are with me as a reminder. It's funny how too much of a good thing produces the opposite of what we want and celebrate - health & happiness. Online information about food and recipes also fit in to the "good things" category, but too much leaves us unhealthy, if all we do is take it in without getting out of the virtual kitchen and into the real one.

How has your "online life" affected your real life "offline"? The topic usually stirs us strong feelings, mostly based on our own experience. When it comes to my real  life kitchen to table, I admit I have access to more recipes and tutorials than I EVER did before ... but I'm afraid that a hidden camera might reveal that I actually cook less. That doesn't make sense! If you have cable tv you can access a wide range of "chef mentors" on the Food Network and pick the personality that most appeals to you. New apps for iphones literally let us carry recipes with us. It's funny that, despite all of the help online and electronically, it seems like people in general cook less and know less about making food a good part of life. 

Where's the gap between all of the awesome motivation online and the actual pots and pans in our cabinets? Yesterday our 17 yr old JoHanna had a younger friend over to do some "wear an apron-flour on your face-read the recipe" cooking. I'll admit, ingredients had to be thrown out, windows had to be opened, and the smoke alarm did go off ... but a lot of "real" things happened in our kitchen offline. The recipe book was splattered with batter .... and memories. Notes were written on the page about discoveries ... in 17 yr old handwriting. Problem solving. Experimenting. Talking. Laughing. Creating (they modified the recipe, of course). Mentoring. Friendship. And not least of all ... some great food. And when it was all over and cleaned up (floor and counters), I posted pictures on Facebook and shared them with friends who wanted to know what ebelskivers are. I sent the pictures to my mother-in-law who gave the gift that inspired the cooking, but lives too far away to see the real thing. Life Online complements Life Offline.


Perhaps the kitchen is the perfect place to show us that the best recipes are those that use good portions of a variety of ingredients. Life online can infuse and inspire real cooking and real relationships in healthy, even delicious, ways off line. Proverbs 31:14 tells us that excellent women get their "food from afar," so this is nothing new!  Let's not lose our motivation, our creativity, and our confidence somewhere between virtual ideas and actual kitchens. 

Recipe carnivals, food blogs, coupon blogs, and meal planning sites are awesome resources. Do you have favorites? Let's be good stewards of this richness we have access to. Let's feed our families, our friends, our guests, the needy, and ourselves well. 

Here's a picture of a great winter party idea that I saw at a real friend's December open house. CUTE way to serve hot chocolate!

Do you need to get back to REAL COOKING?

Ideas to take virtual to real:

• Print out a recipe you find online and make it.
• Does a recipe make you think of a friend? Forward it with a note of encouragement.
• Get together & cook with a friend, each bringing a new online recipe & ingredients.
• Use digital scrapbooking software or online publisher & make a family recipe book.
• Choose one new recipe each week to try out & serve.
• Use online resources to find the best recipes to take to needy friends & then take one.

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:

• Virtual resources complement real ones. Take out a hard copy recipe book and rediscover some "oldies." Look for splatters reminding you of when you cooked and who you served. See what the handwriting reminds you of. 
• Have a favorite online resource? Write a recipe you discovered there on to an index card or paper, then include it in your recipe book or box, or mail it to a friend in a "real" envelope. ;)

REAL GIVEAWAY ~ 
Leave a comment today telling me what your favorite online food resource is ... recipe blog, meal planning site, cooking carnival ... what online resource motivates you? You'll be entered to win a 2012 Family Meal Planner/Calendar from the Gooseberry Patch. I'll announce the winner Thursday! 

Life Off Line: Are you resting?

In my Saturday closet cleaning, I discovered some long forgotten items. My 2 teenage "fashion consultants" encouraged me to get rid of more than a few items. I've threatened them not to send me in to "What Not to Wear." I firmly believe that most things WILL COME BACK IN STYLE. ;)

I also discovered some lost opportunities. Among other things, I found a FREE MOVIE TICKET that runs out TOMORROW. I'm not good at relaxing. I'm good at working. I usually stuff those "fun things" away for another day, a day when I'll have nothing to do. I'm afraid that day doesn't come very often, does it. But in Life Off Line, it's important to take real time off to relax and rest.

Jesus set a pattern for us when He took time away to rest. Following the feeding of the 5,000, people did not stop looking for Him, asking for Him, or wanting Him to "fix" things. Maybe this is one of the many reasons He understands women! :) But He still rested.

"After this Jesus went away to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiberias. And a large crowd was following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing on the sick. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat down with his disciples. "John 6:1-3

• Sometimes the most godly way I can use a day is to rest.  
• Real life isn't very sweet without rest.
• My busy mind/body/spirit fail to remember who is God unless I stop and sit down. 

So I don't know if the movie ticket is going to be used now or if it will just be a reminder of what I miss when I stuff the priority of rest to dark and forgotten places. After all, the Muppet Movie was showing, and I could've used a good laugh more than a few times since I got that ticket! ;)  Instead, I've taken a step to plan a few nights away at a quiet place offered by friends, and I think I'll go up there on that mountain and sit down. 


What do you do that helps you to find real rest? 

Today's Life Off Line Challenge: 
- Sit down.  :) 
- Take a deep breath.
- Pick up a pen (or however you plan) & mark off a "piece of a day" to rest. Keep it sacred, because it is.

Marriage Mondays: How do you do w/mess?

What makes you hard to live with? Are you afraid to go there? Even more afraid to ask someone else? It's not easy to face our "ugly spots;" we tend to want to cover up or stuff them. Real love doesn't back away from a mess.

Photo credit Flickr ~ Grace and Lily

I've been stuffing for the last six years.  In my closet. It's one of the ways I get a lot done. :) It's part of the "messy" in my Life Off Line. I just "stuff it" in there to deal with later. You can imagine where that got me! And can I say here that I fully intended to take a picture and show you, but it didn't happen, because ...

My Jeff really loves me, and he knew I needed help with my mess. He took his Saturday afternoon to tackle my mess. First he told me to keep in mind that anything to follow wasn't personal, a reflection on my worth as a person (he had a trash bag in hand), or his love for me. :) You may remember that when he helped with my pantry, I didn't respond with total grace. :/  So while I grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper, he started emptying my vault. My first thought:  "Wow! I can pack a lot of stuff in a closet!"

It's hard enough to call a mess what it is, whether it's a closet, a habit, or a circumstance we've made, but it's harder to tackle  the mountain alone. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a candidate for "Hoarders," but that might only be because Jeff doesn't back off from a mess. A working friend is a blessing, and in marriage a spouse that will get dirty and make our mess their own is truly a gift. It's a timeless truth that, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor" (Eccl. 4:9). 

• Knowing we have to tackle a mess alone often keeps us from tackling it at all. 
• Our husbands are blessed when we allow them the privilege of meeting a need, lifting our load, and being our knight in shining closet organization. 
• They are helped when we come alongside them to help tackle their mountains with an attitude of humility and love, instead of criticism or belittling. 
• They don't want to see us standing in front of them with a trash bag in hand and a glimmer in our eye!

My closet wasn't my only mess, but it was a big one. I'll bet you have a mess somewhere. It may not be the shape of a closet. It may be habit-shaped or attitude-shaped or heart-shaped; whatever the shape of your mess or your husband's, real love won't back away. 

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:
- Ask God to show you an area in your life that needs to be addressed, instead of overlooked.
- Ask your husband if there's anything in his life that would be a relief to have help to take care of ... and then change your schedule to be his helper.

Marriage Mondays: How to Have a Real Fight

Every real marriage has conflict, but is it right to work it out on line? Couples like Ashton and Demi Tweeted for the world to hear their hang ups. Should Marriage Mondays be a place to air my dirty laundry or rally support when I'm licking my own wedded wounds? How do we have real fights in a virtual world? 


Should a couple's conflict be taken public or kept private? Some forms of media are public. While we wouldn't stand in Target housewares and yell over to our husband in Electronics, "You aren't meeting my needs!" ... somehow there are those who feel like they can post it as a status and feel okay about it. Other forms of media are on line, but they're private:  texting, emailing, direct messaging. Can life on line have a healthy place in a "real fight?" 

How to Have a Real Fight

1. See eye to eye. We communicate much with facial expressions and body language (Luke 6:41-43).
2. Hear each other. Our mouth speaks what fills our hearts (Luke 6:45).
3. Touch each other. Bring down walls of defense w/real touch that conveys a soft answer (Prov. 15:1).
4. Taste your words. Instead of impulsively spewing bitter words verbally or in writing, consider their taste (James 3:10-11). 
5. Smell sweet as you fight. "Walk in love" as a "fragrant aroma" to God (Eph. 5:1-2). 

   

   photo: microsoftoffice

Real marriages encounter conflict. Women respect their husbands and men love their wives when we work out our differences with dignity off line. When it comes to conflict, let's keep it "real."

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:

1. Before you tweet or post something to or about your spouse, say it out loud.
2. Memorize Psalm 19:14 so the Holy Spirit has something to work with.

A Resource: For more inspiration and resources, online Christian colleges sometimes offer communication classes for couples.

Marriage Mondays: 7 Real Habits of a Happy Marriage

One of the things I do "off line" each week is to meet with a group of young married ladies each Sunday night. Jeff meets with the husbands downstairs, while we gals gather upstairs. It's a sweet time of sharing, learning, and praying together. It's discipleship, mentoring, and growing together. We talk about what it means to be women who follow God and how that looks in our lives as daughters, friends, wives, and someday maybe moms. A couple of "my girls" have started to share with us that they're expecting their first baby, and I'm excited to go through this new part of life's journey together. I'll get to be with them as they become moms!

Today an awesome new online resource is launching to help moms in real life, in life off line. As part of the writing team of mentor moms at The M.O.M. Initiative, I'm working with my friend Stephanie Shott in our vision for moms to help mentor other moms. Check out The M.O.M. Initiative and share this excellent resource. 

Last night I asked my group of young wives what "real habits" they've found to be valuable in their early years of marriage. They've discovered some gems that will serve them well for years to come, habits that don't grow old in the blessings they insure. Here's what my girls had to say:

7 Real Habits of a Happy Marriage

1. Have breakfast in bed on Saturdays
2. Exercise together
3. Pray together in bed every night
4. Verbalize positives and affirmations often
5. Find activities the two of you can share
6. Eat dinner together at the table
7. No phones or TV allowed once you go to bed

1 Timothy 4:16 tells us to watch our "life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, for if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."

If we're careful to do and keep doing the godly habits of marriage that we have been taught, it will benefit us and those we talk to about marriage and family life.

• Have the good habits you once had grown cold? 
• Do you need a little stoking of the fire? 

I'm excited to say that my girls are off to a great start in real habits the will produce real joy in their pursuit of oneness!

Tasty Tuesday ~ Zucchini Bread

 
More than food comes out of the kitchen. In years past, it also stirred up mentoring, learning, friendship, accountability, wisdom, and modeling. Cooking and kitchens still make those good things, if we're careful not to ignore the rich resource of real friends and the fun of sharing real food together. And if we find an awesome recipe on line, let's share it with an off line friend!

Today's Life Off Line Challenge:

1. Make double a dinner & take 1/2 to a friend. Better yet, have them come share!
2. Ask a friend for a recipe or use one you've been given; make it; let her know how it turned out. She'll love it that you used her recipe!

So many of my best recipes come from great friends around the world. I love making something given to me in another state or country, savoring the thought of my friend, and praying for them as I cook. A sweet friend recently asked me for my zucchini bread recipe, so I want to share it here ... for my "local" friend and my on line friends here at Come Have a Peace. I hope you'll make a loaf & enjoy it for real! And let me know if you do. ;)

Julie's Zucchini Bread

(I first saw this at allrecipes.com & modified from there... )

Combine & blend:
3 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil
2 c. sugar
3 t. vanilla
2 c. shredded zucchini (take out the seeds 1st)
Add to that:
3 c. flour
1 t. salt (I use a salt substitute)
1 t. baking soda
1 t. baking powder
3 t. cinnamon
Grease 2 pans. (You can also line with foil, if you want to be sure you can pull it out without leaving "chunks" stuck in the pan.) Pour batter into pans and bake in a 325 degree oven for 45-60 minutes. Cool the bread in the pan for about 15 minutes before removing.
Other Zucchini recipes I've shared that you might like: (All can be made with frozen, shredded zucchini)

Chocolate Zucchini Bread
Zucchini Cake

Life Off Line: Snowman craft

I'm very close to giving up on the hope of any real winter here in our hometown. :) We're going to have to sit down for a "Let's not complain" family chat soon. We really love winter.

Today in our Women's Ministry a new team of ladies launched the first of a ministry called the Mom's Chair. They were encouraged, and I know the moms who came were encouraged, too. Instead of being with the moms this time, I got to spend the morning with the home school students. We did a lesson/activity combo all about winter, and it was so much fun.We read great books, made lists of adjectives/verbs/nouns, did a mural and labeled the pictures, discussed climate and temperature, colored, and even looked at what the Bible says about winter:

Psalm 147:16-18

He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes.

He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs; who can stand before his cold?

He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow and the waters flow. 

An awesome science lesson came out those verses! Finally, since there's little hope of a "real" snow, we made our own snowmen ... ones that won't melt. Here's what you need:

To make a non-melting snowman:

• a tube sock
• yarn
• felt
• hot glue or other
• buttons
• wiggly eyes
• rice

We filled the socks with rice and tied them off tightly at the top and in the middle. Fold down the "tube" twice to make the hat. We added eyes, buttons, a foam or felt nose, and a felt strip for a scarf. You can snip the edges to make it look fringed. I also added mittens. Some of us even added cheeks using pink lipstick!

We didn't let the warm winter stop us! :) This a simple craft to make in a little bit of time and inexpensive ingredients. I used this once at a Mother/daughter winter party JoHanna and I hosted - great fun! If you're a mom, an aunt, a grandma, a Sunday School teacher, or someone longing for snow ... this has your name written all over it. :) Next week is going to be even warmer!?!?!  That's okay. I'm going to enjoy it and go for a walk every day ... I've already made my snowman this year. ;)

What "real craft" or project helps you celebrate winter?

Today's Line Off Line Challenge: 
- Make something with real glue. :) A card? A sock snowman?

- Stop by the library & pick up a new book to read before winter melts into spring.

3 Ways to Be a Real Friend in a Virtual World

Yesterday's Life Off Line challenge on Friendship was a lot to chew on. Do you have some "go to principles" for keeping your friendships "real" in our virtual world? Here are a few of mine:



3 Ways to Keep it Real

1. Find out how your friend likes to connect, and communicate that way.
2. When possible, do real things.
3. "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Col. 3:14)

How do you make, be, or keep a friend on line or off line?

Resource:   P.S. If you maintain a blog, Article Writing Services sometimes has tips and inspirational features on proper online relationship building.

Tasty Tuesday ~ Crescent Roll Chili Cups

What's more "real life" than leftovers? :) My life off line includes a lot of leftovers AND making simple (usually also cheap) ingredients go a long way. 

Since this past weekend here was frigid, I did what any self respecting Appalachian-dwelling woman should do ... I made a large pot of chili, heavy on the beans. :) I'll admit that the chili wasn't award winning, but it was the leftovers-inspired creation that got the rave reviews!

On Saturday I took store brand crescent rolls and wrapped each one inside a muffin tin I had sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. I put in a couple of spoonfuls of my less-than-stellar-chili and topped it with a generous clump of Monterrey Jack/Cheddar mixed cheese. I popped those cups in the oven at 375 for 12 and a half minutes, and called them "Crescent Roll Chili Cups!" 

 

The family gobbled them up for lunch, and a certain bottomless pit of a teen boy asked if I would make another batch. I did what any real, self respecting Appalachian-dwelling woman would do ... I made another batch and smiled as my boy gobbled them up! 

That's what's going on off line in my kitchen. What's happening in yours?